Hi there!

Some technical mumbo-jumbo before I begin...

-There were a few mistakes--Example:

Smooth pale skin.-->Should be "Smooth, pale skin" as I don't think skin can be "smooth pale." Same goes for "Silky brown hair."

Unselfishness-->Usage is a little awkward. Maybe "selflessness" would be better.

Moving onward...

Holy CRAP. I love this. I truly love this. The style is just perfection. Succinct. Simple. Beautiful! I've always loved stories that bordered on the edge of poetry, and you've pulled that off just brilliantly! My favorite part of this piece was the ending--"He was everything I'd never wanted…But everything I'd always needed."

Crazy good, and it shows just how fate works in mysterious ways. As the Rolling Stones sang, "You can't always get what you want, but if you try some time, you might find you get what you need."

I'm a dork. But this was fantastic. I look forward to reading more of your work!

Best,

-McQuinn

anyways-->Anyway.

Oh my goodness that is cute.
I love it

You may remember me... im the girl who was writting Tusikigoten... I cant even spell that anymore... Anywho i'm writing a memoior of my life in the past year... and this poem actualy played a significant roll in it...

I was wondering if i could use it in my story and if i can i would apriciate you emailing me your name and when you wrote it and date Yadda Yadda so i can excredit the peom to you.

let me know please.

-Miranda

i really liked this. i don't think it's creepy unless you're referring to the guy.

this poem is very original and i'm adding it to my favorites.

Interesting... I can't tell if it's a song, a poem, or something inbetween, but still interesting.

Wow! I really loved this poem. *grins* I can relate to it quite well actually. thanks! keep writing!

The begining part ("What I Wanted") sounds a heck of a lot like me...

Anyway, very good poem.

OMG i have been gone forever i am so sory! -Please forgive me!

Anywho well if shes doesnt want him ill take him... dame girl you cant be so picky!

it sounds funny hope u write more!!

I was anticipating a story. There are great elements in this poem to turn it into a story too so I hope you do because I want to end up falling in love with the guy that doesn't fit her idea of her dream guy, you know. Think about it.

It was good just a wierd format, i do plan on reading the rest

Wow, I really liked it. It was actually really smooth, and I like how you compared what she wanted, and what she got... haha. :D

This isn't a oneshot, is it?

Aww that was sweet. I didn't like the format but whatever. Keep writing!!

Hey there! I actually liked it, the only thing is its kind of confusing. First, I thought it was a girl and a guy talking about what they wanted. I think its only one person now, but I'm still not sure. And you might just want to add some explanation at the bottom. Like a paragraph. But its your story and I liked it! Keep updating!
~Rvn

Hm interesting start. Do you plan on making a story off this? It would be interesting to see how it turns out. Good work.