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| Ernest Bloom 2008-10-06 ch 1,   | yes... |
| Tytherpol 2007-09-21 ch 1, | this is a neat poem. "where mating calls and feathers rise/up in moist swirls" -- that is a definitely colorful line. and "the lion king and his cobra queen" ...the alusions in this are great. nice job. |
| wordsworth in a garbage can 2007-07-09 ch 1, | this plays out well- the words match nicely together. but if i had to choose a favorite part of this it would be "and the slur in her throat..."- that was brilliant. |
| Lucid Nonsense 2007-02-09 ch 1, | Great imagery and metaphors, I loved hom the animal motif was continued all the way through. Full of power, lust, and beauty. Very nice, as usual. |
| the naked civil servant 2007-02-02 ch 1, | she can't think, swan neck pouncing left and right as her head says "no, no" ... "i didn't mean to do anything bad" but those rooster red lips stay close and touching, because she knows- "no, no", she knows even good girls have sin in their blood. that is quite quite quite gorgeous. the whole poem is SO rich in imagery, it's crazily evocative and wonderous. such an original idea, too, love it. |
| no.peace.los.angeles 2007-01-11 ch 1, | Wow, I love this picture you've painted. All these animals, and even where there weren't animals, you managed to use animals in the description, like in "rooster red lips." I love that because I've never heard it before, and it's also a very apt description. I also have to commend your line break in "maybe that's just another lover in the family/room on the other side of the closed door" because until you get to "room," you assume we're talking about family. Very nicely done. Overall, a very well-crafted poem. Keep writing! :) |
| thestonedfox 2007-01-06 ch 1, | The imagery in this is just astonishing. I loved how the rhythm was just right and how this was chock-full of metaphors. Great job. |