FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| doxology 2008-01-04 ch 1,  | abuseThis makes me forget my troubles. Peace & Love ~> h.p. warble |
| ayadora 2007-08-23 ch 2, | abusethis makes me feel high. or, different. whatever. |
| the naked civil servant 2007-08-21 ch 1, | abusethe glory the panic i love this somuch every line - must read more and again, several times, attentively, it is apocalyptic in its imagery detroit, at all? accordion crimes could be animals or apples i am violently in love with this piece. |
| Tytherpol 2007-07-19 ch 2, | abusethat is pretty amazing. |
| Camilleta 2007-02-02 ch 1, | abuseThe words are like art. Only complaint is the format, or maybe just the parenthesis, are confusing. |
| Lowell Boston 2007-01-08 ch 1, | abuseInteresting, though I'm not a good judge of free style poetry. From my perspective it feels over wrought with too much emphasis on ( ) use, or ?'s - not sure if more than one drives your point across more. I've read it a few more times and I come away with different things, but I enjoy the subconscious stream of though flow, though i think it needs more discipline. For me this will come across as a different poem to you a month or months from now, where you might look back at it and say, what was I think about when I wrote it. Just a thought. |
| thosewhomustbecarried 2006-12-30 ch 1, | abuseeasy tiger :) I like how you're keeping on top of time with the word "thru", and how you pinpoint the negative aspects of society and now, specifically the Ford comment. I had to look up what a "narwhal" was but I didn't. I particularly like the line "make my air hurt" for how it makes me feel that the poet is being personable. I think the only thing that really ruins the appearance of poem is the (()(), makes it look like I am reading computer code or that you are trapping the reader. Overall it's a great poem and a pretty piece of freeform. I want to see more soon ;) keep it coming. p.s. thanks for ruining my night by starting my review off with "awful descriptions" - at least save the bad news for the end ^_^ |
| no.peace.los.angeles 2006-12-30 ch 1, | abuseWow. This is outstanding. It is really hard to post slam poetry here, I will agree. This is totally fantastic, though. I love slam poetry, and yeah, you've done a fantastic job. I especially love the lines "like a narwhal in the attic, like a whale in a teacup." Very creative and such an explosive image. Favoriting you and this, for sure. Keep writing! :) |
| Little Junkie 2006-12-30 ch 1, | abuseThis, this has to be the most favourite thing I've ever read on this whole damn site. I think as each moment went by a new something came over me, I dunno whether it was a feeling or a smile or I dunno but I was like, that is so going in my favourites. yay my night has been made. |