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Reviews For: The Longest Moments

Arceira
2008-07-13
ch 1,
abuseAlthough quite simple a storyline (which can be a good thing), you managed to grasp the attention of the reader very well with beautiful imagery.
Well done!!
Jesse the Storyteller
2007-06-19
ch 1,
abuseGreat story with beautiful imagery. I could almost feel it. Incredible! I love it. I wish it would go on, explaining what happened and how she got to that point, haha. :)

However, towards the beginning of the story you switch tenses several times. Two paragraphs are in present tense "She knwos what it is..." and then suddenly it's past tense again... "she was lifted up, miraculously pulled..." you go back and forth several times. Clean that up and the story is incredible.

-Jesse
Medieval-Rogue
2007-06-19
ch 1,
abuse*smiles* You know, At first I didn't know what to think. As I read, I guessed that the 'fantasy' aspect came in some creature within the depths...and then, I don't know were I stand on short stories being in the C2...but I loved this. It was short and sweet and made me want to read more- find out if she sees the creature again, what the creature is really like. But...even for so short a story, it truly is unique...imagery, concept, and the over-all emotions that it touches within me.

Anyway, I love it, and most definitely will add this as a Rare Gem- the first short story to be in the C2!
Blue Devil012
2006-12-31
ch 1,
abuseWow, I really liked how you wrote this. ^^ You should write more! I think this one was a nice piece. Hope she meets him again, she never got to say thank-you! I liked how he stayed around till she woke up again, so sweet. X3 I think you just made my day. ^^
Namina
2006-12-31
ch 1,
abuse...Wow. That's all I can say. Your description of the textures and what happened was amazing. You put a deeper meaning into the story that could have been a person almost drowning, but instead was a young woman struggling to stay alive. I'm impressed ^-^
I like how you described the ocean, how it was "claiming its debt from mankind". The rest is just...Well, I can't think of a word good enough for it. How about "Amagreacoring"?
I didnt' find any typos, either. I hope you write more like this! ^-^
Shorter Oxymoron
2006-12-31
ch 1,
abuseI was disappointed when the creature talked but the rest was inspiring.
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