There were some grammatical and spelling errors in this chapter. This was by far one of your best chapters this far, however. I'm really enjoying reading this! Please keep writing.

Frodo

Hmm...you did a lot of telling and not showing in this chapter. It seems unproffesional of a psychologist to talk like that, and the pacing was a little off. Of course, I am like in LOVE with this story, haha, but it could have been better / SORRY!

Frodo

Okeedokee! Well...I think this should have all just been one short story instead of broken into chapters. Altogether, you have done a good job constructing a story, but there are little mistakes like the confusion of your/you're. And to be honest, I felt a little detached reading it. I know sometimes it seems like there's no more detail to be added, and also it's often a good idea to show and not tell...but this just seemed a bit too brief.

Keep writing, love. :)

LXF

This is an interesting story, which lots of potential, however, while you started with alot of detail about the story, it appears as if you lost interest. what happened at the hospital? why tell us what happened three years later? why didn't she regain her memory? why was he shot?

also, it's not realistic. no one would be finished teacher's college at 25, never mind a principal.

this is not meant to be a flame of any sort, just a critique. this story has potential, just need work to it _

This is a cute story so far. I'm interested to see how she ends up in the loony bin...which is always a fun place to write about. :]

This is interesting! I'm looking forward to reading more! :)

This is an interesting story. There were a few typoes, but nothing out of the ordinary. It's really sweet, and I love your writing style. Keep writing!

Frodo

wow. ur a great writer. i want to read more. this is the kind of story i can get into. something interesting that acualy sound realistic.

Wonderful! Do continue. I like this one, Kell. ash