your descriptions go well with the plot.. this is interesting

I liked the intrigue in this. I've always thought that empty places would serve as a wonderful inspiration for stories, and though I never could find the words to express my thoughts on it well enough, I thought you did a good job with this. I really liked the wistful tone in this piece as well. My only qualm would be that last bit at the end, which I found rather awkward as it seemed to break the flow of the story. Other than that though, it was quite a decent piece actually. Good work!

I like the flow of this story and the sadness behind it. It seems connected to that poem about the snow but I don't know if that was intended. The story has a kind of antiquated feeling, like a period piece, but the style it's written in is intriguingly modern and poetic. I especially like the last few lines, very mysterious and weird and beautiful.

Aawh, I thought this was so sad... It's beautiful, and haunting, and your description is awesome. I really like this, the repetition was really effective, and I can really feel the despair the narrator feels. Really good work. =]

This was beautiful! Short, sad, heart-string pulling-ly beautiful!
I just wish i knew what happened to the young girl... Wonderful set of scenes you've painted and you did it in such rich colors too...Just enough description in each panel that it left the reader wanting more...to have that chance to partake with the narrator in the young woman's life. Nice Job Lux! On to read more of your work!
~~Scottie

i felt like crying when i read this. it is so beautiful.

Beautiful, and melancholy. Very romantic (especially the section about the bridge) without being sappy. It really creates that 'golden haze' effect of old summer memories. Your structure works well, and the last paragraph is intriguing. I wonder what happened to her... And what happened to him.

I loved this story! There was so much description and emotion in it, and a lot of mystery about the characters. The way you used similar phrases very cleverly showed the futility of the character's thoughts and memories, and the uselessness of life. The last phrase confused me slightly, with the subject suddenly changing from plucking petals from a rose to invisible walls. I like your user name. Is it Latin for light in holding, or light in something? I forget...

that was quite interesting. your language is beautiful and the imagery is strong in this piece, and so are the feelings/mood. the whole thing had a sort of lonely feel to it, which is why i like it. the nly thing is, some of your sentences are too long and hence a bit awkward. long sentences are fine, but it's usually best to spread them out and vary your sentence lengths more. too many long ones so close together will mak your reader 'breathless' and sometimes bored. but overall, i really like this piece.