Great...but sad.
AND THERE'S NO CLOSURE! Sorry for "shouting", but I hate it when authors don't close something up!! It makes me frustrated that I don't know what happens "in the end". That's my only criticism.

-Irony

Yay for Russian inspiration!

This was very nicely done. I liked the story a lot, though I felt that its nature was beliedby the title (and yes, I know the quote to which it refers -- "White Nights" is my favorite of Dostoevsky's short stories). "If Only for a Moment" doesn't really make sense with the characters' relationship, though I could see how it came from "White Nights."

I felt, though, that some passages did need a little clarification, as another reviewer said. For example, "It seemed so unfair that I almost wished it hadn't been at all." You've used the word "it" to describe two different things in the same sentence -- first the current situation, with Tara going away and getting married, and then their relationship. There were a few other sentences like this throughout the story, though they could be easily cleaned up.

May I be permitted to repeat, in closing, that I greatly enjoyed this story and was thrilled to see that it was inspired by one of my favorite short stories of all time? Thank you.

This is a one-shot? Darn...I would have read more. I thought it was good. Captures all the emotions well, and there's so much more that could be said. I liked it.

You captured the bitterness of friendship beautifully.

I've always maintained that friendship and any sort of companionship for that matter is inherently selfish. But your story showed that friendship is mutually beneficial. It reminds me of my situation with my best friend. She moved away four years ago and despite our efforts to keep our friendship alive, it's been difficult to say the least. Things are not the same anymore but we both acknowledge that. Are we best friends? Once upon a time we were...

Anyway. This is a lovely vignette. Thank you for sharing it! It brought back a lot of memories.

I love the beginning to this. It creates beautiful imagery and the language you use throughout the whole piece is very poetic. I also love the last paragraph. It's so poigniant and heartfelt and I thought it was a very strong ending.

Wow... This is.. thought-provoking. Your words are definitely well chosen. I feel like you captured the angst felt by the narrator well when Tara brought up the news of possibly moving to Waukegan. Anyways, excellent job!

:) supergal

A nice, well written, well paced short chapter. It was kind of dull, but understandable for a first chapter.

This story seems kind of lifeless. Some spots a a tad rough, too. Don't force the story out if that's what you're doing. But I've read a few other stories like this and to me it's pretty obvious how it's going to end. Best of luck to you.

Dostoevsky! (squeals with uncharacteristic giddiness) I loved Crime and Punishment (which I haven't finished yet, but I love Raskolnikov)... maybe I'll check that out. Winter Nights, you say? hm...
By the way, this was excellent and flawless. I think you could actually continue it, if you so desired, but that is entirely up to you, and it is perfect as a one-shot. It's so sad... it makes me think about how most of my friendships will dissolve in a year (college, alas). but still, it is wonderful. It's going on my favorites list.

Russian, hmph. Some fine taste, but fine is not enough.

This here, what you're offering, makes me wonder in silence. Having not expected anything out of the cynical length or low age rating, I am pleasantly disappointed.

I disagree with up to five points, four regarding language use, grammar and one about characterisation.

"I didn’t see anything wrong with staying in Herrin."
"I never have been much of a liar, though."

These two quotations contradict each other. If Walker was a bad liar, he wouldn't narrate supposedly seeing no difficulty in her stay. In other words, this does not make sense. The woman clearly stated that moving was a great gain. I'd recommend expanding the first thought. It was formed in a way that can be misinterpreted easily and I am not sure whether your message reached the critic in full, but the subconscious or conscious mind is described pitifully.

He didn't show it. He didn't speak it, but what did he feel? In detail. Unravel the oxymoron above. Tag the man with egoism, remove the fake politeness covers. People are not as blind inside as they seem outside. Make the audience notice that this is worth feeling, not just glancing over. Sure enough, if you don't want to make it any better for a pickier reader, you might settle for a children's story title, but why would you do that?

If the action takes place on Earth, "sun" should be capitalised. There is something very wrong with verbs here: "I suggested she buy a taser and a can of mace; she recommended I buy a shot gun." "Shotgun" is one word, by the way. "Shot gun" means a gun that has been shot. Do not confuse the reader with your style. Paragraphs etc were never my favourites and it wouldn't do any good to mention that quotations need speech comments, not randomly inserted sentences in the same paragraph.

She sighed.

"Hello," she said.

I don't know about Dostoyevsky, but this thing you wrote is suitable for killing time, not being treated seriously.

Average.

Have a nice, abuse-free day.

Dostoevsky is STUNNING. I enjoyed this... bittersweet, but reflective enough to be hopeful. You conveyed the feelings in the air well; it's easy to understand how both characters feel. Thanks for sharing.

I love this. Just a friendship between a boy and a girl; no secret romances or hidden feelings. It's so innocent and refreshing. Keep up the good work!