   planet mars 2007-06-12 . chapter 15hey, i´ve been reading your story and so far so good. i havent seen a lot of romance, and its spaced out. but hey, a slow paced story is good every now and then.
well, there are two exceptions to the overall goodness of your story, which might seem to be a little bitchy but heh, i get bitchy bout them. first one is spanish, i am assuming you are not a native speaker. which is not a bad thing, dont get me wrong, but a lot of the translations are messed up and if half your spanish speaking student population is Spanish, you must know Spanish spanish is different from most of American spanish. Just like British english and American english, however, there are more differences between spanish"es" than between english"es" (wow thats weird) for example, instead of usted as is used in america (usted as a matter of fact, is a deformation form vuestra merced, that the little indigenous people in america had to call their "owners"), in spain vos is used, you know, the most faithful spanish in america is argentinian in that sense which steve should use, seeing as he was raised there until 6... or 10... or whatever, however, those are the years were language learning and understanding plays a bigger role (and really, antony steven arroyo, not meaning to be mean but most of the world does not want to name their kids in english, unless of course they are ignorant fools that quite literally name their kids from whatver they see on tv. ive actually seen people that are either named (as a fisrt name only, mind you) jennifer lopez or leonardo dicaprio, and of course usmail (not as in us mail, but i think chicano confused it with ismaiel and thought that usmail was a name) is a basic one. of course there are people named aniv. de la rev. which stands as an abbreviation for aniversario de la revolucion and some people when they see a calender they just name their kids from whichever saint is celebrated that day, a common catholic practice, so why not name them aniv. de la rev. seeing he moved to america, his parents shouldnt have had any gringo influence, but hey, can happen).
anyway, the other exception is a little bit more petty... OV7? dude, thats not nice... at all. there are tons of spanish bands that rule over OV, lousy teeny boppers that they were, heck kalimba alone is better and its still not nice. i mean there is mago de oz (with the plus that they are spanish, so obviously spaniards should know them, practically unknown in the english speaking world, but in the spanish speaking one, they are recognized as the best metal band by everyone, preps, punks, darketos and heck, even my parents) if you favor the metal crowd, cafe tacuba if you want something more folkish, colectivo nortec is great synth music. there are billions of cool ska bands (seeing as there are in california, ska is a little appropiate), placido domingo and andrea bocelli if you are more classical minded, mecano for popish. well, at least you didnt choose RBD or something as lousy as that.
anyway there a lot of songs that have more meaning than an sclub7 spanish version´s songs (they even had a tv show, too).
i just read your profile, i promise to write my review properly next time i do so ;). you´ll have excuse if this one lacks a proper form im too lazy to correct it.
btw, this is in no way a flame or anything of the like, just a way to address my pet peeves (i can totally understand the comma before the and) i have many, but i think the spanish usage in other people´s stories is my biggest one. so if you need help, ill be more than to help you.
anyway, hope you finish soon.
luv, planet mars |
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