|Reviews for Roanoke|
| huimei 6/5/10 . chapter 2
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| Kathadoodle 5/8/10 . chapter 30
This story is insanely good! Please update soon!
| bubublacz 3/31/10 . chapter 30
If you didn't explain what happened I never would have understood it.
| bubublacz 3/31/10 . chapter 16
Aw... I like Madison. The pace through the forest was rushed, but I guess it was just fine 'coz i think that if you had added something to it, it would sound boring.
| bubublacz 3/31/10 . chapter 6
Everything makes sense from this point, but I still don't understand how the aether things work which could just be ignored for the time being. Hm... I think Riley is the daughter of someone prominent? It's just a guess. I do hope I'm wrong and that the answer is that she's some big shot.
| bubublacz 3/31/10 . chapter 3
I really like the sound of your story but I'm so confused about everything. Like the date, the venue, and the aether thing.
| xXPepper-chanXx 3/1/10 . chapter 2
Just finished reading Chp2. Your plot so far is bay far very unique. I'm looking forward to reading it if I could.
I know that you've already mentioned this in the first chapter of your story, but I think it would be better if you use names when one of your character is speaking, using he/she is fine, but sometimes it'll get to the point where readers don't know who is the 'he' that is speaking. I've only got the the 2nd chap, so maybe you've already fixed this (If you have, I apologize) Thank you for writing!
Please Continue to write.
| ThereAfter 2/22/10 . chapter 30
I just spent the past few days doing my best to catch up to this story and I'm incredibly glad I did. I could heap praise on you for hours because I found this story so very different and exciting, but there are also a few things I think could do with some tweaking. There is a ton I want to say, which almost guarantees that I'll forget at least one thing. If that's the case, I'll probably just tell you about it in my review for the next chapter.
First things first: That praise I mentioned? Yeah, well this story is incredibly unique, at least compared to what I've read up to now on this site. I love the world you created and the characters are very interesting. I think the whole idea of aether is pretty ingenious. And I definitely like the military aspect you gave everything. It adds a unique element I haven't seen anywhere else.
Now the critique part... While I adored the beginning and found it almost impossible to stop reading, everything since the High Court was introduced has begun to feel rather tedious and, dare I say it, boring. There was (and I'm not sure if this is the right word for it, but I can't think of anything else) realism to the first half of the story, but now everything revolves around the copperbloods, their powers and their devious ways. Maybe the copperbloods importance wouldn't aggravate me so much if there had been mention of them early on. I know you were trying to keep a certain level of suspense, but the story suddenly went from a military-centered adventure to a fantasy-style story of backstabbing and plotting. Personally, I preferred the adventure. But, since the copperbloods are clearly an important part of the story, I get why they're getting so much focus. I guess the best way to fix the problem would have been to just gradually add the copperbloods to the story, instead of their sudden appearance after the Cordon mission and subsequent complete takeover of the plot.
I also think some of the relationships evolved a little too quickly. Riley and Remington went from barely polite conversation to being in love in the blink of an eye. I wish there had been more bonding between the two before they suddenly began a relationship.
So I guess what I’m saying is that you have a tendency to introduce new ideas too abruptly, without any lead in to them. And honestly I think that once you’ve worked on how to introduce new aspects of the story, your writing will be fantastic.
Overall, I love the story so far and can’t wait to see how it concludes.
| Regin 2/8/10 . chapter 30
I Like, I Lust, I Love!Please Update Soon!
| pbgurl 12/21/09 . chapter 30
AH! I noticed its been almost a year since you updated. You have to update this. I'm literally on the edge of my seat with the cliffhanger you gave us. Please please please please update. This story is excellent, one of the most well written I read on here ever! And the secrets and twists are great!
please update :(
| AranaBanana 12/1/09 . chapter 30
Well, I don't have much to say, though I guess I could go on and on praising your fic. I really enjoyed reading it, the plot is really interesting, and the characters too. I noticed it hasn't been updated since january though, have you given up on it? I sure hope not, because I really wish to read about the rest of the story. But whatever happens, I just wanted to thank you for writing this, and letting me read, I had a very good time doing so.
Keep the good work up!
| i-wish-i-had-wings 9/20/09 . chapter 30
ekh, how scary! having her inside your body! i would've gone mad! i wonder what will happen next, i've never read anything like this before. usually i don't like sci-fi, but this story is magical!
| FadedWhispers 8/2/09 . chapter 30
Wow. Now that was unexpected yet expected. This Empress is taking being super evil to the next level. And i applaud you for creating her. :]
Great story can't wait til the next chapter comes out. Will there be a sequel?
Oh and i should mention that the aether part last chapter wasn't confusing at least to me. It made sense that she could block Grayson's fake attacks.
| Aeriim 7/14/09 . chapter 1
First off, I'd like to start by saying that I loved your story so far. I read all 30 chapters in about a day and a half. I think it deserves all of the reviews it has gotten. But there's a few things that stop me from liking it as much as I could. I'll just say a few things right now, and if you'd like me to, I'd be more than happy to give a more in-depth review.
I'll start with the pacing. There were multiple times when you stated that you were worried that the story was going too slow. Never once did that even enter my mind. However, more than once I felt that the story was moving too fast. Take a look at a regular novel, especially if you plan on attempting to publish this. They have a lot more down time than you would expect. They have lots of action, but they also have plenty of breathing room. There were times in your story when I felt that there hadn't been enough buildup, enough characterization, for the writing to feel natural.
Next, the plotline. I absolutely loved it, but a few things bothered me. Have you ever watched or heard of the T.V. show, Avatar: The Last Airbender? There was numerous times when I thought I might be reading the same thing. There is countless similarities between the two. I'm not accusing you of copying, but it did stick out to me quite a bit. Another thing was the predictability. There were things that were extremely obvious to me that I felt should have been the exact opposite. There were very few "big reveals" in this story that actually managed to catch me off guard. I'm not saying the plotline isn't good; like I said, I loved the story. But just concentrate on foreshadowing the right amount. Too much, and the story becomes a bore.
I'll talk about just one last thing, unless you ask me to continue. The magic system. I love the idea of it, but I am so completely and totally lost about it. We start off the story thinking that all aether is good for is flying ships. Every step onward after that is explained only at its bare minimums, and it left me floundering in the water. We need to know more about how it works, who is able to use it, what it can do. I was completely bewhildered when I found out there was a shapeshifter that was able to do it because of aether. I was under the impression that you could only fly and make things explode with it! This was probably the biggest dissapointment in the story in my eyes. You have a wonderful magic system, but the readers don't know enough about it to be able to love it as much as they should.
Great work on this story. I loved it, despite it's flaws. I'm anxiously awaiting the next chapter. And like I said before, feel free to message me if you want me to continue. I truly enjoyed this story, and would love to help you make it better.