I liked the battle scene a lot, very believable. Although I couldn't understand much of it, due to the slightly technical terms, I found myself getting the gist of it.

But, I didn't like how so little of her emotions are shown, and how the descriptions of the scenes were rather vague. They could have been more detailed, in my opinion.

I really liked how you revealed a little bit more about Riley; a little bit more about her past.

Her discussion with the general was formal and the way I expected it.

But,

"The number of lethal weapons pointed at her back made her nervous so she pretended she was a dignitary arriving on the ship and that these soldiers were her honor guard"

To me, this sentence sounded slightly awkward. I think it was because of the 'so'. It sounded out of place.

Still, it's a bit strange how she was given a private room to shower in when there should be plently of inmates, all needing the same facility. But, very interesting so far.

EW.

uh... that's all.

well, okay. a better review: EW. um, I think you wrote the end of this chapter really well. HO JEEPERS. that was mega creepy. I can't believe it! she used her... for her body. amazing.

I'm SO excited to see how this pans out. thanks for the update!

Your description of how Kendra's grandmother takes over her mind is incredibly creepy. The easy slip in, her inability to control her own movements, everything. It seems even more scary that she is fully aware of what is going on and cannot stop it. Shouldn't her power to stop the aether protect her?

It would seem that the empress only told Kendra to kill Calvert to give her a reason why she kept her alive. Is there some particular reason why the empress wants to live inside Kendra and not someone else?

At this point it also seems likely that the way to stop the empress from keeping the throne will be for Riley to kill herself. Hopefully there will be some other solution for that. Update soon. jlr

Oh my God.

Update.

Ooh, I like what I'm reading so far and I can't wait to see what happens in the next chapter. It's been a long time since I've read a good fantasy story. Excellent descriptions, too, by the way. I commend you! :)

Ok the Empress is just sick sick sick. Ew to have that woman in your body. *shudders*

I liked this burst of riley. she seems like she's hiding so much thats just waiting to come out. this was like one of those things coming out.

I think that there should be more description. i wanted a clear image of her fighting, but I didn't get that. It was like, she fought, she did some stuff, she landed.

good stuff!

so to be a pilot you have to have a bump on your neck called an implant? interesting...

I liked the charactors. they seem to explain the situation more because of who they are and what they're doing more than what they actually say.

i got the idea that an aether ship was a plane, but it wasn't really clear. I think that you need to be more desriptive. I know that the charactor knows what everything is, but us readers dont

you left a lot unexplained. that was good because it hooks the reader in.

i liked remington's character. he was mysterious and intriguing. he surprised me.

This has definitely piqued my interest. You have a very good style of writing, that makes reading it effortless.

For now, I'm too early in the story to tell but I have a feeling reading this will be worth my time.

I'll be back to review the next chapters when I can.

i liked riley's personnality. she wasn't all like, i'm weak innocent scared blah blah blah. she knew what she did an had a purpose for it, whether that purpose was evil or not i don't know yet.

your description was good. it gave you a clear image of what was going on.

Very intruiging Chapter. A question though, why don't you describe what she looks like in the first chapter? Then your readers have more to go off of when they picture what's going on.

These past two chapters are some of the best so far. It dragged in the middle for so long that these are just packing it in. I love it. Riley's character is really developing, and the plots thickened.

Don't leave us hanging, here! This is really very good. :)

Your use of descriptions in the chapter were great. I liked how you kept them short, but also used them to get the character's feelings across. Like her shortness of breath. I was literaly at the edge of my seat!

I liked the opening too. How you just dropped the reader in the midst of things and started the action. It was a good way to start off. It had me going from the first sentence.