"my skin crawls" i swear to god, when i got to that line...the whole poem makes my skin crawl in such a disturbingly good way. and i read this aloud too. so, there you go. you're, once again, breathtaking.

i love this.

i think this was very intense, so I don't get your a/n about not being able to write! Quite raw, and a lot of good imagery. Good work! I just...I get the feeling this whole theme is too recurrent, but it's still really good poetry! Love, Mia

Oh that first stanza was great. And I loved the line "it's pitch black and heavy like a fairytale." And yaay for a nightmare before Christmas shout-out. And, oh I could go on all day so I'll just stop now.

I really, really loved this.

First line, baby.

It is was perfect.

Like, really perfect.

And, I love the second to last stanza; it is just beautiful. Really beautiful.

And, oh. I love it.

- Noelle

I really really enjoyed the first stanza. It's just brimming full of secrets and confessions and emotions that just shouldn't be written about, because they're too dangerous and heartbreaking to read. & I love the final stanza, "it's pitch black and heavy like fairytale" is such an intriguing image.

Now for a little bit of constructive criticism.. I think the 2nd stanza in the parantheses wasn't as explosive as the rest of the piece. It just became a little too.. cliche(?). I don't know, it might just be me, but I felt as though it sort of lost the rhythm and the emotion became exhausted.

But then again, you definitely rediscovered your inspiration because the ending is just heartbreakingly perfect. Overall it's a beautiful write.

This is one of those really ugly pieces that you stare at for awhile because there's so much...angst going on that it's hard to digest at once. I love the line "it's pitch black and heavy like fairytale." It's so strange and I like that idea. Just nice. Keep writing! :)

and this is a novel. a label on you, on him, on the both of you.
it's amazing and so much insight and reflections that it's rubbing raw. i love it.

(if you call this not writting... yeah. it's a different style i think than your "usual", but it's nothing to burn, not even close)

gorgeous. like leftmeshaking gorgeous.
and i love 'it's pitch black and heavy like fairytale'.
scratch that.
i love everything.

♥

i love the first line -- for some reason, it made me giggle.

"you are glitter/and mirrored across my face."

love that line.

As a general rule, I ignore these pieces-- not for content, but because the writers are usually unoriginal and repetitive. This, however... There's an authentic, jagged feel, and the harshness of the words helps convey what I interpreted as raggedness (don't think that's a word, but you get my gist) and an impenetrable darkness. Very excellent. `~bella~`