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Reviews For: A Promise isnt a Promise

Artemis Anderson
2007-10-02
ch 1,
abuseWell done
bratja
2007-03-13
ch 1,
abuseThis was really nice; I liked it a lot, especially the last few lines:

"mirror images of / our mistakes and pain / its ohso obvious now that /good girls grow up to be / bad whores"
nighthuntress05
2007-03-02
ch 1,
abuseNot quite nostalgic, not quite wistful, but something along the lines of "what have we done?".

I especially love the line: mirror images of/ our mistakes and pain

Well done.
Symphany is lyrical bliss
2007-01-16
ch 1,
abuseI really liked this one; i felt like i could totally relate. You always tell yourself, "i'll never be like them" and low and behold, life can get the better of you. It happens to all of us.
hateandkill-D
2007-01-07
ch 1,
abuseCool! i like this! Great job!
a lonely september
2007-01-06
ch 1,
abusethis is so sad . i can almost .taste. the nostalgic feeling in this... it's so sad and so gorgeous. 'we would chase fireflies and we only cried over / skinned knees / and broken dolls / never broken hearts. . . ' it's wonderful. good girls grow up to be bad whores. and bad girls? makes you think.
Midnight In Eden
2007-01-02
ch 1,
abuseI would really love to see this punctuated. As it is, you almost rush the reader through too quick. I want time to ponder and pause.

The "ohno" feels a bit immature, I think it might work better if it were more drawn out, a little more melancholy instead of sarcastic.

I'm not sure about the copious "ands" either. Periods would probably work better I think. For the italics at the end, do you think you really need them? You're already emphasising "bad whores" with it's own line.

Interesting imagery however and a good idea behind it. Hopefully this was helpful.

.:midnight:.
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