Beautiful. Hauntingly beautiful. There's a certain element in there that brings out the beauty of it,the way Death is feared, the ignorance of humans...

On the scale of one to ten, with ten being perfect, I'd give ten. Full marks. Keep it up.

There's a subltety to this story that makes it so interesting. It really isn't the type that would leave you afraid to sleep alone at night, but there's an underlying horror to it, and a hint of humour is present. Then again, the things I find humourous, aren't to other people.

I applaude your style, and sincerely hope that you will continue writing with this uniqueness of yours.

I really like this. Very dark and creative. I admire these little short notes.

Love the rythm in this. Makes it poetic somehow, like a children's lullaby. The whole story has a comical tone to it. Lovely imagery, beautifully described. Some of the sentences somehow sound awkward. Perhaps because many of the sentences have rythm but then a sentence breaks it. I think much of the "rythm" thing was unintentional, maybe something to think about? Good job.

The repetition, the imagery, and the diction is quite flawless. Good work. I especially like the line "Haunted by the dead, but harmless. Haunted by the living, but harmful." I don't know about you, but sometimes living people scare me more than ghosts or dead things. It's the living things that scare you the most, because it's the living things that can taint your soul and character, as well as your flesh. Dead men don't talk. Even Edgar Allen Poe's works deal with living things rather than the dead. Yes, the dead may "haunt" the living, but it's the guilty conscience of the living that makes the haunting essential. If the sinner had no integrity and morality, nothing would scare him, not even the possible consequences for his sins. So good work, I needed something eerie like this (I'm reading this in the morning haha). Keep writing!