Hello my darling...
I adore science infused with poetry... as a physiologist & aspiring doctor, it's a sublime combination for me. I like the particular instances you've picked out... particularly 'shave your skin into a sheet as thing as a sigh' and 'house myself in your ribcage...'
I rarely do critique, but if I recall rightly, you like it (I think? Hope am not condescending!) ... I would work on the structure of the piece, perhaps trim a few words or rearrange them, and it would be very hard-hitting - gruesome love. Not for the squeamish indeed.
I hope ye be keeping warm. I miss our winding philosophical rants... have been drowning in philosophy, shame you're not here atm.
- aleppine, who is trying to emerge phoenix-like from manic little world and leave hermithood behind