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| green.gaze 2007-02-07 ch 1,  | abuseI love the way you came back on their story, on little moments through different objects. That was very imaginative and very well written. You have a great talent when it comes to discribing things. I also like how pretty much until the end you expect that the guy did something to her (like cheating on her or breaking up in a non gentleman manner). Personnaly I think I wouldn't have thrown everything away like she did because it's always nice to have a little thing to cherish, but oh well it was your character's choice :P "He left her with a smile and a wave as she found her favorite of the cafe’s many books. When she found it on the bottom of the heap, " The repetition of the verb 'found' bothered me a bit... I had to re-read the sentence because it gave me the feeling that she found it twice... A change of verb might be good. Not much else to add. Great plot, very good writing, easy to visualize. |
| dancesandsways 2007-01-06 ch 1, | abuseOh my goodness Celeste, I absolutely adore this story. It is so real and deep and emotional, but you write without overdoing it. You know that she's upset (well, obviously) about Austin, but you don't make the reader want to bang their head against the wall like, "Get over it!". =D So that's really good. The way that you ended it was so soft and sweet and just perfect in that it's like she isn't nearly over Austin, but she's starting to live again. |
| I Dream of Scotland 2007-01-04 ch 1, | abuseVery interesting, well written story you have here. I really enjoyed it! |