What an interesting situation. Hanako is so evil! And poor Chieko, I feel so bad for her now. I still really like their relationship to one another, but it's a little scary too; I'm really suprised at how much tension gets built up back and forth. And Hanako isn't as dumb as she looks, she really knows how to handle Chieko when she wants to get her point across. I can't wait to find out what happens to them on their journey thingy, and Kaijuu seems like an interesting character too. Though he was kind of just there.

Alright Akahime lives! Lol, though, I say that because I haven't visited your profile in forever. Whoops.

It looks like an interesting story. I like the premise for it, two sisters (zomg its so adorable how they get on each other's nerves) who after wandering and arguing find a little card that has the potential to change their lives forever! Seriously, I like both Chieko and Hanako's characters. Chieko doesn't sound hyper, but she is so clingy and exagerates her emotions so well. And what's really fun about her character is how she's the bigger sister, but not the older one, and how immature she acts, but in such a strange way.

"Chieko coldly turned away, crossing her arms at her. Hanako cried, grabbing around her neck, shaking her, choking her again and again."

Perfect example of how to depict Hanako. She's a wonderful character.

Chieko is really well shown too. She's irritable, mature, smaller, better-mannered, realistic, smaller, more intelligent, smaller...lol. You've shown their polar opposites so well, but their not really polar opposites so much as just really different. Even the old guy was comical with the whole heirloom thing. But geeze, 2500 yen for a single card is still a little pricey. Chieko must adore her bigger little sister, or at least, be desperate to keep her quiet.

I really want to find out what happens to them and the card. Good cliffhanger and I wonder where their parents are. I guess its not important but a flooded house doesn't look good.

Just some things to point out toward the end, you really went overboard with the reptition. The fact that they were sisters came up like a dozen times lol. And actually, about 10 or 15 paragraphs up there were a whole bunch of grammar errors. The rest of the story seemed pretty mistake free, aside from an occasional misspelled word or two. I'm really looking forward to where this story can go. I liked the Red Child alot, so as long as you haven't gotten rusty (it sounds like you've gotten much better actually) I expect great things! No pressure! lol.