FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| Head or Tales 2008-01-04 ch 1,  | abuseTruly beautiful. I can't even describe how it flows: this is too perfect. Keep writing. You have an incredible talent. V. |
| greenGalilee 2007-01-19 ch 1, | abuseTwo words: absolutely beautiful. I can't find anything else to say. |
| Tabitha Rae 2007-01-12 ch 1, | abuseWhat a beautiful piece - it's so personal, and the way you write is absolutely stunning. There is something that seems to make this poem very "you", yet easily identifiable for the reader also. I absolutely adore it. I agree with the others, I love: "And I stumbled down love. the vertigo of a grand staircase carpeting each twist." |
| Moondog Dozier 2007-01-10 ch 1, | abuse"And I stumbled down love,", is such a well described relatable way to phrase the feeling. I like how you set up the scene, and keep it lightly sprinkled with details, and yet open enough that it is more than individually identifiable. I also like the emphasis on the emotional temperature of how the situation feels. "until we are drowning-in a culture all our own.", really creates the connection well, and gives the reader a specific view of the relationship between the participants. Very well written. Vivid scene. |
| Anaare 2007-01-06 ch 1, | abuseA wonderful and eloquent piece that spirals higher and higher into beauty, like that grand staircase. Simply wonderful. |
| contrast and friction 2007-01-05 ch 1, | abuseYou have a talent for creating some of the most beautiful and intriguing images I've ever come across.. "And I stumbled down love, the vertigo of a grand staircase carpeting each twist." I love this stanza. That is such a fantastic metaphor. This is a masterpiece. It flows so easily and it's just so eloquently and beautifully written. The use of repetition is perfect, and it adds so much to the piece. This is truly amazing. |
| MyDamnedSelf 2007-01-05 ch 1, | abuseWow, this entire piece blew me away. "And I stumbled down love, the vertigo of a grand staircase carpeting each twist." I love that verse, so full of imagery, in fact it may be my favorite metaphor for falling in love. “I’m a writer-- don’t hang up,” I said. He laughed. “I’m a pianist. We’re even.” I love how the piece is so solid and beautiful, yet you still took time out to add a bit of humor. Very well done. "We had a garden in the bathroom, watered by shower steam. Snapdragons drank the warmth like slow-brewed tea and stretched tendrils to the tile, seeking the source of such heat" I want to frame that stanza as an example of what good poetry is, this is going to my favorites list. :) |