Reviews for Princess of Thieves

Reviews For: Princess of Thieves - Reviews: Page 1 of 2

LeenaElle 2008-06-25 ch 4,	abuseHi! Sorry it's taken me so long to review this chapter...I've been a bit pre-occupied. With that said, I think this was a good chapter! I was completely wrong about Sir Orwin and Audreyandra! Whoops! There was quite a bit of dialogue, and I think for the most part it was all necessary except for maybe the chunk in the middle with the sisters. I think you could have chunked that into more of an explanatory paragraph, because it kind of slowed down the action in the story. I understand that you were trying to get us to feel Alexandria's anxiousness, and give us the knowledge that something was happening at midnight, but I think you could still accomplish that in an explanitory paragraph. With that said, job well done, and I can't wait to see what will happen to them next!
shaggywolf 2008-06-18 ch 4,	abuseDisney wrote a movie called Princess of thieves? sorry, off topic. um, the part with Alexandria looking at the clock, the time went by way to fast. it was like, look over, 18 minutes, look over, 15, look over, 5, and then it was like wha? way too fast. whoa! was not expecting that! Sir Orwin and Alexandria! what is the age difference there? please let it be not that much. i like Lauren.
shaggywolf 2008-06-18 ch 3,	abuseOh! a destructive fire and a misterious night that could possibly be a father figure or her real father but nobody but he and her mother knows this? (ya, if this were a soap opera) m, i wonder what is going to be planed... nice job!
jane 2008-06-16 ch 3, anon.	abuseAh, conflict conflict conflict! I'm glad that the action has taken off already, and look forward to see the point of view of other characters too
jane 2008-06-16 ch 2, anon.	abuseWell, you have to do the exposition eventually, but it didn't feel nearly as contrived as it does in some stories. You did a good job of weaving it in there
jane 2008-06-16 ch 1, anon.	abuseGood opening, with the cliff hanger and all. It sets up the personalities and conflicts of the court already...
Patty 2008-06-14 ch 3, anon.	abuseHahaha! It's fantastic! I love it! Slave over it more...-_-
LeenaElle 2008-06-14 ch 3,	abuseM I know those chapters! The ones you just want to get out of the way, but you can't seem to write them! A few things...Now, I'm not sure how "historical" you're really going with this piece, or how accurate your aiming to be. It's obvious that it is taking place somewhere made up...but I wasn't sure if you were trying to stick with a time frame, as far as the castle, clothing, soldiers helmet, and such... The only reason I bring it up, is because sometimes your language doesn't match your setting. You have Cain say something about Audrey hurting herself because she had just used too many adjectives...not something I imagine them saying "back then." Also, the Ladies first thing...seemed a little modern too, maybe it's just because of the sarcastic way he said it. Sorry to nitpick! Looking forward to your next chapter...and seeing Sir Orwin again...is something going on there? Or, will the hatred between Cain and Audrey lead to something more?
LeenaElle 2008-06-14 ch 2,	abuseIt was a largely explaining chapter, but it was necessary. We needed to meet Audrey and I'm guessing Caine and Joan. I'm interested to see what happens next!
LeenaElle 2008-06-14 ch 1,	abuseO great first chapter! I really love the end line, definitely makes me want to read more...which I absolutely plan on doing. I think you've really accomplished my idea of the first chapter, hook and intrigue. Great job!
anyastarlessnight 2007-11-28 ch 1,	abusei love this story and Elements of our Days. hey can you tell me how to get my stories posted up on here? that would be great. thanks cya anya
shaggywolf 2007-07-29 ch 2,	abuseokay. nice start to the story. Audrey sounds like quite the character. is Joan pronouncing the nick name Drey like Dree, or like dray? nice st up of development. Caine and Joan sound interesting. i like Joan. author person/shaggywolf
anyastarlessnight 2007-07-06 ch 2,	abusei love it! sounds very exciting adn i can't wait for the next chapter. update soon! cya anya
bekah 2007-07-04 ch 2, anon.	abusethe way the thieves accepted her so easily was a little unrealistic more apprehension wouldve been interesting and the whole idea of arranged marriage just seemed to come out of the blue
miomo 2007-07-02 ch 2, anon.	abuseGASP! I've been waiting for this chapter for MONTHS it's about time =P

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