This was cute, but a little strange. i suppose it's meant to be that way, it just didn't set up much a plot to be followed in later chapters but maybe that comes later. There were spelling and grammar errors throughout it though.
"Pete there a French fry at Schis back as he walked away to class."
-threw

"joke about getting hard if she was there, but she took ut wrong."
-it

"She lighted a cigarette"
-lit

I suggest proofreading your stuff, that way these small errors are easy to find.

-Lorki

Aw...T_T, by still that's not fare, this story is way too short, I really like this story I just wish it was a little longer, ^_^;; oh well I guess all good thinks come to an end. Good work thought; keep it up.

It's not something I usually read but it's interesting enough (for me) to catch my attention. ^_^

This is a truly unique storyline. Eli and Schis are great characters.

I think I like Pete. Not because he's too dude-ish or anything, but he reminds me a lot of the type of guys I enjoy watching in the movies. How come THOSE guys never get all the ladies!!

[Pete cut in. “You're lost your mind, dude. Look at her, no boobs. Completely flat.”] *You've. (I know you said that the piece is just for fun, but I really think it could turn into something quite serious if you let it grow!)

Schis is the type of guy I'm obsessed about writing right now; I know he's an ideal in the real world, but I have faith that there are many like him, in the way that they are sensible and eager to find girls who are attractive--past their physical assets. I sort of grow embarrassed reading about these type of guys other than in my own stories, because it makes me realize how much all the rest of us writers pine for his type. Who can blame us, though? There aren't enough Schises to go around!

[“Whatever, man, whatever. I'm gonna make a move on her.”] Thank God he isn't the shy type that gets all the girls. I want my hot ideal men assertive!

[With her tight t-shirts stretched over her tall and lanky frame, and the soft cap pulled down over her forehead, revealing a pair of autumn brown eyes, she was you typical asocial girl. Or maybe no.] *your typical, maybe not (is it "no" or "not"?).

[Head ben over a paper-sheet and the pen flying over it to catch all the notes.] *bent.

[“Just thinking.” The laughter in his voice died. He was going to joke about getting hard if she was there, but she took ut wrong.] *it.

I like the piercing exchange between Schis and extremely hot baggy pants girl. It was natural and good-natured.

AWW!! He got his first piercing with her. On his urethra?!

[“Yeah. No. Are you a vampire?”] LOL I like the way you render guy-girl conversations. They're gold.

holy mother of mercy! she's got girl parts and boy parts!

[“So...when did you loose your virginity?” He tried slyly.] *lose.

This was so ecclectic, but awesome! Their exchange was casual, repressed--even if there was physical stuff happening all over the place, it still felt really restrained, in the good kind of way. It was amazing. I love this Elias chick (dude, too); if you wrote another chapter about her, or even another short story about her, I'd read it. I like how they're so self-actualized. They understand a lot about social interaction, so it doesn't come off as infantile. The beginning with Pete and the other dude talking with Schis was sort of lacking, but only because the story is setting up who Schis is, but who he is doesn't seem to matter, even if he chooses Eli over Kelly. I think, it's because his time with Eli is fantastic on his own, that if he were some random generic guy who didn't have very many friends, but also didn't date very much, we'd still look at him and pat him on the back for going after Eli.

That's what I think, at least. I think it's because I really like Eli, though. LOL

The conversations between them were gold. I felt really at home with them! Thank you for the good read!

Ah! And thank you for reviewing my work! It'll be sort of hard to find readers for all the chapters, since the story gravitates around descriptive, raunchy sex. LOL Hopefully you'll drop by and read and review another chapter or two? It would mean a lot to me! I... return all reviews chapter for chapter!

it was interesting and absolutely random all over the place and someone turned the heater way way up to counter the chilly weather outside and i'm a snowman who's melting in the heat.

it really is too hot, and so i apologize for a lack of anything more coherant than that i rather enjoyed reading it. the sensory was really pretty good in this, and that's what i liked the most, i think. *pretty sure of it, i mean*

maybe i should open a window.

heh...sorry for this review. i do bow to you for something as wonderfully sensory laden as this, though. and if that's the only thing you take from this, then you're the sane one, yes?

*Sque!*
Aw
*Glomp*
See, see you can do cute ;P