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| murasaki09 2007-04-29 ch 1, | abusei don't really know what to do right now... i don't really know if i should cry (in the empathic sadness your work just bathed me in) or laugh (in innocent joy at having read something this brilliant) or just kill myself thinking about which of the two i would rather do... and exactly this is the effect of your words on me... i guess this piece just bombards me with carefully tempered feelings of the protagonist that i would want to coax him/her into telling me the rest.. oh, and i've got two favorite lines by the way... "everyone in the room couldn’t care less about everyone in the room" ..and... "i'm suffocating, you know". i so agree with the latter one... your words suffocate me - but in a very nice way... |
| I'm Still Here 2007-04-13 ch 1, | abuseI am retardedly obsessed with this. I like to like...read the words in the paranthesis (spelt THAT wrong) by themselves. And then like...the other words. Yes. o_o It's so hot and sexual. And I am so jealous of your writing. jgfndk. I don't REALLY know what to say. You know I'm like, horrible, with constructive critisism. And truthfully, I can't find much I want to change. Maybe a few words here and there, but I love the flow, I love the descriptions, I love like...everything. Especially this line: there was a moment back there- a moment where i noticed something and it's- i know you can hear me. ...Yeah. It's hot. This whole thing is hot and it makes me sad and I haven't figured out why. (HI I'M IN SCHOOL.) |
| Phoenix Melantha 2007-02-16 ch 1, | abuseBrilliant -- I'm seriously starting to obsess over your writing. "Conscious accidents" has honestly become one of my favorite poems and I believe this one shall be added to the list :)Everything from the language to the way you separate every line just enthralls me and pulls me in. Favorite line --> All of it |
| randompoetry 2007-01-19 ch 1, | abuse'stupid ** dreams' ouch. that hurts. (but in a good, poetic way.) the format is a little confusing, hard to keep up with. but in another way i loved the format, how the centered things were in parenthesis. it made it quite creative. |
| CHIIJOY 2007-01-06 ch 1, | abuse"i'm ** transparent, love" ^^ I love that line and I got through the format and like that it's so creative. But I thought that it fit under the category of poetry more so than a story. Just a thought. Great job. |