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| His Mercy's Waiting 2007-01-08 ch 1,   | I really like the concept of snow and the imagery of numbness that comes with it. I think your poem would be even better if you centered more on that, since your title is already devoted to it. Also, this is just a suggestion, but since you like to make one line lead into the next, maybe you can choose just some lines to capitalize (the first letter, that is) and leave the others in lower-case. It'll give your poetry more variety. That's it! Sorry if I sounded overly critical, and you don't need to take any of my suggestions. This is good work, keep it up! |
| Knocturne 2007-01-07 ch 1, | It didnt feel very heartfelt. And It felt like i was getting buried in commas that were mis used it seems. Nice concept though. Keep Writing Knoc~ |