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| Twilight Starr 2008-07-03 ch 1, | abuseThe Re-VAMP part was pretty funny. "Harris'" should be "Harris's". It doesn't matter if it ends in an "s" if it's singular you add an "s". Nice work. Good luck with writing, this story, and life. Have a lovely day and a wonderful summer. ~Twilight Starr~ |
| Tasha West 2007-05-12 ch 20, | abuseAw, I think I like Val too, she seems feisty. Zephyr seems to have a hard time ahead of him with this angel woman. She doesn't seem too easy, lol. Anyway...Good chappie :D |
| Tasha West 2007-05-12 ch 19, | abuseHahaha! What crappy last words, but mighty funny, lol. I still love Zephyr. It's weird that Beelzebub is a 'charming fellow', it just scares me a little. Ooh but what's going to happen now that the mysterious angel has appeared out of nowhere?? |
| Tasha West 2007-05-07 ch 18, | abuse"The tension in the room could be cut with a blunt butter knife, held by an 80 year old woman with cataracts and arthritis." That's so random! But so funny...oh and then you put '“The agents got her,” he said like stones.' I mean, lol, how can you say something like stones, or am I missing something? Am I? Lol. Anyway...I love Zephyr, he should get his own story! I would read that!! :D |
| Tasha West 2007-05-07 ch 17, | abusePoor Clyde, he cried...aw!! |
| Tasha West 2007-05-07 ch 16, | abuseUh-oh's! What a fun chapter though, lol. Currently not liking Agent Harris very much, he's...he hurt Clyde and that's not allowed lol. Must read on...Great chappie :) |
| Tasha West 2007-05-05 ch 14, | abuseO_o There are a lot of odd gnomes aren't there...The Dew Patrol sounds kind of cute, lol. Oh, and I would have thought that the fact that some of the gnomes roll their hats in tar would have been common knowledge by now and someone would have tried to stop it somehow, but I guess not. Oh yeah, you mentioned the fact that the hat related to their status, twice. Good chapter though :) |
| Tasha West 2007-05-05 ch 11, | abuseOh my God! How marvellous! I love this chapter! Like WTF? "Marshall Oblong of the Office of Jamaica" ?? Why? That's like so random, lol. But I love it and the fact that he said “Hey, that’s between God, the Rastafarians, and me,” I love it, it's hilarious. Really, you're brilliant :D |
| Tasha West 2007-05-05 ch 9, | abuseWow, those 'mistakes' sound weird, lol. Oh and this is so funny, especially when Eruc seemed shocked that he was actually white. Moo :) Off to the next chappie! |
| Tasha West 2007-05-05 ch 8, | abuseOh, interesting...hehe, I think I like Zephyr too, I like his bluntness. You're note thingies are interesting too but the little numbers dotted around are confusing but I'll get over it, but I guess it would work better if you could make the number small like when you use superscrip on MS word. Anyway... |
| Tasha West 2007-05-05 ch 7, | abuseOkay, lol...I like death...he sounds like an interesting character and I think I'm starting to like Adam now, don't really know her that much but I'm sure there's more to learn. Another good chappie :) |
| Tasha West 2007-05-05 ch 6, | abuseOh, my lord...I was thinking okay, so he's not going to die. He'll be alright, he'll just go home now and be sad some more...but obviously not. I didn't really see that coming, hehe. Great chapter! Even though he died...but I'm guessing it's not like a dead where he's like really dead...anyway, I'll shut up now. |
| Tasha West 2007-05-05 ch 5, | abuseOh bless him! How embarrassing! Lol. Oh yeah, just some thoughts...um, shouldn't he also smell the bacon? Like not just hear it, since bacon smells kind ick and it's fairly strong too. "As the fog in his head cleared and he became awake..." I think it would sound better to forget the 'and'(?), and put that 'he awoke'. Just a suggestion...you can just ignore me if you like? Also, you wrote 'thru' somewhere too...I can't remember where (sorry). There was that bit where you wrote "That's when she heard zephyr", it was almost as if you jumped from telling the story from the way Clyde sees it to how Adam would see it, but then you jumped back again. But other than that it was a very interesting chapter! I'm definitely loving it :) |
| Tasha West 2007-05-05 ch 4, | abuseGreatness, but it kind of confused me when you wrote his thoughts in speech marks, because I thought he was actually saying it...but I soon caught on, lol. I'm a bit slow, it seems :P And what was Adam pushing around? I want to know. Something invisible? What could it be? Aww and he had purple and red spotted boxers, aw! How cute-ish! Oh yeah, you referred to Adam's apartment as an 'apart' somewhere in there, and 'dinning' room should be 'dining' room. Anyway on to the next chapter :) |
| Tasha West 2007-05-04 ch 3, | abuseConfusing chapter, lol, but okay... Anyway, "WHEN THE CONVERSATION IS NO LONGER NECSSIARY!" you mean 'neccessary' right? |