Reviews for Dead Eye - FictionPress.com

Reviews For: Dead Eye

The Five 2008-01-27 ch 4,	Cheers for Review Marathon. I’m aware of what you said earlier about not judging your writing based on this story. I think you should try to clean it up a little since you finished it. Fix the minor comma errors and such. “Ok, when you get there I want you to have a look through the vent and see if (there’re) any troops about(,)” replied Scarecrow(.) The last minute save seems classic. And the traitor situation was a surprise. ~Lycan
Halfbloodlycan 2008-01-27 ch 3,	Nice chapter. I like when the roof begins to come down on them. A few noticed things: They roped down (without) (While) Samurai was speaking into the radio(,) Dead Eye was checking out the clearing through the scope of his rifle. Also, can you fix the you's? Please?
Halfbloodlycan 2008-01-27 ch 2,	Review Marathon Day! I noticed a few minor errors: (which) he carried (everywhere) along his eyes (where) he was tortured They (were) on (their) way to the LZ All (they) knew of the target get around the outer (defenses), find out (where) the bugger sleeps there also doesn't seem to be that much detail regarding their location. Perhaps you could add a little. Overall the idea is interesting and I like the code names.
Halfbloodlycan 2008-01-27 ch 1,	Yes, I’m from Review Marathon (link in my profile) This story has a real James Bond like feel to it. I like the feeling of suspense at the end. I can imagine being trapped in a five by five box would make anyone claustrophobic, especially if the person is over five feet tall. ~Lycan
renagade master 2007-02-09 ch 1,	hey shel i remember when your first wrote this and was tring to get everyone to read it lol. not bad for a first effort.
Deprecor 2007-01-14 ch 5,	That had a nice plot. A lot of action and it moved along quickly. The only mistakes I could find were minor, like punctuation. Other than that, you did a good job writing this. The characters were interesting and the ending was satisfactory.
Kishimoto Erika 2007-01-09 ch 5,	Gotta say, you might think about getting a beta reader for those spelling/grammatical/punctuation/capitalization mistakes. But enough of that. I've mentioned it in every review. Just wondering, how is Crist pronounced? Like Christ? Or Chris with a T at the end? Anyway, since you uploaded all of this at once, I'm guessing you've gotten a lot of it written. Hopefully you'll update again soon, because I'll sure read it. Nice work so far.
Kishimoto Erika 2007-01-09 ch 4,	There's a section of lines of dialogue here where I have absolutely no clue who's saying what. More capitalization errors, yada yada yada. Funny chapter title. The Three Musketeers, ne? Also, you keep using 'u' instead of 'you'. Online chat abbreviations are absolutely not acceptable in writing a novel, but I'm sure you know that. On to the next chapter, then. . .
Kishimoto Erika 2007-01-09 ch 3,	Crap! I think I just called Chelsea a girl in that last review. Oh well, whatever. You know what I meant. Scarecrow is interesting. . . I gotta say, the lack of punctuation is grating my nerves a tad. Some typos, too. I can kinda imagine this like an action movie that I'm watching -- maybe even a show like Stargate.
Kishimoto Erika 2007-01-09 ch 2,	Lots of grammatical, capitalization and punctuation mistakes, but hey, we've all got them. I see in your profile that we're the same age. Goody. Anyway, this reminds me a lot of a story my friend was writing before, so I've found it pretty enjoyable. Also, with 'sly' names like Dead Eye and Samurai, where the heck does Chelsea come in? Seems a little odd. Nevertheless, you also, again, didn't do much describing; especially for Chelsea. Seems like you're really into concocting strategies and talking about weaponry more than describing characters, setting, etc. That's okay though. I'll keep reading.
Kishimoto Erika 2007-01-09 ch 1,	Goodness! This is short. Anyway, a few things to say here. It's good that the action started right away, but you didn't describe much of anything, including your main character. We don't know anything about him. Also, the block of dialogue at the end seriously needs to be reworked. I see potential here, though, and I'll be reading on.

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