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| Carmel March 2007-05-09 ch 12,  | abuseThis is an absolutely amazing story. I love the way you narrate. It's from a unique perspective that's very refreshing from the norm. Good job on this, and I can't wait for more! ~carm~ |
| xoxstorii-gurrlxox 2007-02-17 ch 9, | abuseAw..I feel so sorry for her. Poor Alicia. Update soon! XxTaylorXx |
| HumanInfiltrator 2007-02-17 ch 9, | abuseIf I may? I found the story rather confusing, espesially chapter 8. I think the main problem is the fact that I have trouble distinguising between your male characters. The movement of the story is very fast pased yet lacking in detail increasing this confusion. The idea though is sharp and new in it's application. Don't rush too much and go back and re-read previous chapters. Good luck! |
| AutumnRain16 2007-02-16 ch 2, | abuseUm...I'm assuming your favorite book is Twilight by Stephanie Meyer. (Edlovergirl) Its pretty similar actually. You used some of the same names (Jacob, Alice(Alicia), Jessica) and the same ideas (3 days to change, bite changes you, drink animal blood, unsuspecting camper thing). But even with that, I still like it. The first chapter was hard to follow. I got confused with all of the people mixed with the action. Maybe make an intro chapter and a changing to a vampire chapter. Couple spelling mistakes. Confusing sentence structure...anyway one last thing...Mathew and Mark confuse me... similar names. I know this sounds really negative but with a little editing, this story could be great. I'll keep reading, if you keep writing. AutumnSkies |
| TheAngelofhope 2007-02-16 ch 2, | abuseGood job on this. Keep it up. |
| xoxstorii-gurrlxox 2007-01-26 ch 8, | abuseO...verii niice chapters I do saii soo myself. I for one love long chapters. Update soon. ^_^ XxTaylorXx |