FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| The.Wizard.Pen.Dragon 2008-04-26 ch 1,  | abuseI always love it when the author and the characters have a fight, but I didn't really get the point of the title. But this story would be great like acted out don't you think with everything the author says happening and the un-named "little" grandson protesting the entire time! Good job, but I'd like it more if you developed the "I'd prefer ot to ..." thing so that it made more sense to the reader. Write on! Pen.Dragon PS: I HAVE to add this it my C2! |
| Kally the Matto 2007-01-12 ch 1, | abuseAnd yet... somehow... I completely failed to laugh. I don't deny it's adequately written, riddled with insignificant errors, but nothing too disruptive. I only really see one thing wrong with it: it's not funny. There are many things that make people laugh: irony and wordplay, human error and comic mischief... Nothing like that is here. It's definitely a story. But, I would be surprised if you could point out one line that's even marginally amusing. Well... you've got some amusing spelling errors. I doubt it was deliberate. "Mane caricature"? I laughed a bit. My distinct apologies for that last bit. I guess I just couldn't help myself. :) |