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| Colton Keith 2007-01-12 ch 1, | abuseIt is certainly not initially "grabbing" but under closer inspection a good piece of work. When I tried not to read the poem in a "sing-song" I found it flowed quite well. I feel that your second and third quatrains overpower the first... If they were all as strong it would feel more balanced. Also, the use of more punctuation could help, but is only my preference. I enjoyed the poem, and hope you don't take criticism as hate. |
| Riley J. Overton 2007-01-12 ch 1, | abusePretty, pretty, pretty. I love it. Autumn is one of my favorite seasons, so this really gets to me. You're very talented at poetry, dear, keep it up. Much luff. ~Riley |
| Frore 2007-01-12 ch 1, | abuseOi! My goodness! This reminds me of Emily Dickinson. Every line gives an image that is almost nostalgic, a picture that we all know, but had a hard time conjuring the words for. It is like... Her Ghost in the Fog meets Emily Dickinson, and on their way to have crumpets with Beatrix Potter, they came across the movie Big Fish. And fantastic verses. =) |