now i like this one more than your other one i commented on. Still not much questions left afterwards but i do have some feelings left over and your meaning isnt all spelled out in black and white. the only thing i would work on is your language. choose each word carefully and read and reread you poem and change words that seem to stick out and stop the flow.

m confuzzled me here but the imagery is really gd
regards charlie

Wow, another great write. I'm sitting here reading your poetry while I'm supposed to be writing a four page paper for my AP English class. I've got to say, your work is so much more interesting! Hm, do you mind if I blame you for not finishing, lol. :) I love it!! Good job.