Reviews for atelophobia - FictionPress.com

Reviews For: atelophobia - Reviews: Page 1 of 2

Lost in A World of Pain 2007-06-15 ch 1,	abuseI read this poem several times to try and fully comprehend all that is being conveyed, but each time I read it something else seems to stand out and catch my attention. I hope this review will make sense, because I tend to try and understand what is being said in a poem rather than just say is is nice and end the review. The first stanza is a very interesting one in many aspects. "I'm lying and she isn't close enough to see". That line speaks volumes and if the psychiatrist could not percieve that the girl is lying, then is she truly as good as the so called professionals claim they are? If one had to ask them about their lives as they try to help correct our own, would they lie and say all is well or tell the truth? The ideals of the girl being portrayed in this poem is most intriguing as she seems to be caught between two ideals, a good one and a bad one. One she should follow but would not like and the other which isn't good for her but she definitely prefers. Her addiction is a difficult one to cure, especially when one is feeling low, and she most likely prefers the few moments of happiness experienced with this boy over the 'attempt' of the psychiatrist to make her life better. I'm most likely completely off track with this so far, so humblest apologies. The way I percieve the part of 'I put two fingers down my throat...' leads me to believe that the girl doesn't like her lying ways and while she persists in doing it, she will keep on doing it so that she may satiate her addiction, as your last line so eloquently puts it. Right, sorry for this long tirade, hope that some of it made sense and if this is based on personal feelings, I can truly say that I hope a better addiction is found and that you find somebody that will love you for who you are and not for what they can get out of you. Cheers Lost in A World of Pain
EyesEmphatic 2007-06-06 ch 1,	abuseThis is so very simple in its complexity. Amazing.
Hide Your Eyes 2007-05-30 ch 1,	abuseMy goodness. Amazing. Awesome. Incredible. I don't have the words to describe it.
Zero-Sum 2007-04-26 ch 1,	abuseincredible. your pieces are always so cinematic.
none of burt's beeswax 2007-04-23 ch 1,	abusethis aches. love is venom coated poetry. transparency is a problem, and i like how you address it here. the thing about the eight dollar concealer and the ninety dollar appointment and one of them working is very sly.
Inky Mind 2007-04-10 ch 1,	abuseThis is...incredibly powerful. There is something harshly, uncaringly beautiful about your words. Somehow, before the narrative of the poem sinks in, I get this image of a girl, lovely, with bruised eyes and lipgloss. (Um, is that weird? I think so...still, it's true.) And this, the poem itself is so honest, that it's like a suckerpunch (hurts so good--snort)--the image that really sticks with me is this anorexic girl forcing herself to vomit out the "truth."
theCoffeeEnzyme 2007-03-29 ch 1,	abuseInteresting... I'm...I'm trying to imagine what words to type before typing them because I fear my interpretation may be on the slight offensive side. lol. I get the girl likes the boy but the boy is bad for her, she's in therapy, all of the very surface details. And, I think the girls knows she needs to get over her "addiction." You made that evident with lines like "it's such a shame, such a shame (good use of repitition to get the point across, by the way) she's overlooked the love bites on my neck," the fact that she points out to herself that she's lying and "as if you ever meant anything" all make this speaker seem like she feels very bad or very guilty. But, the second stanza starts with "still" which makes her appear as though she's second-guessing herself. Like, "this is bad but I'm still enjoying myself." And, she's letting the boy control her: "you curled my fingers into quotations of the words I wouldn't scream." Then, you say that "Thursdays are for gossip" and, nobody likes gossip so, she's "gossiping" to the therapist which makes her conversation with the therapist seem meager and trivial. I think it's clear to me who the girl prefers: the boy to whom she's addicted or the therapist. The girl...she seems extremely dirty, to be as polite as I can be. lol. And I hope this isn't a piece from direct experience because I don't want to insult you. lol. I love the poem, it is pure genius, brilliantly written, a complete work of art. I could gush on and on. I'm just not so sure that I'm enjoying my own interpretation of the piece. lol. In closing, I beg your forgiveness for this lengthy not-even-a-review. lol. It was more like literature discussion than helpful criticism or praise and for that I apologize. Once more I will say how impressed I am with the piece of your skill. You are a truly magnificent writer.
GirlxAnachronism 2007-03-27 ch 1,	abusei put two fingers down my throat and let them stretch and stutter until the truth comes out. you like me better when i'm transparent. i like you best when you're on top. That was incredble, YOu are incredble
edges of time 2007-02-11 ch 1,	abuseI really like how the whole poem is very secretive. I'm in love with it.
riotmaker 2007-02-06 ch 1,	abusei love this. and i won't bother quoting stupid lines that randomly go together to make it amazing. it was just all amazing. except the last line. that was ** mindblowing. and hilarious. ♥
no.peace.los.angeles 2007-01-29 ch 1,	abuse**, that was good. I love the stanza that starts with "still;" - it's so perfectly worded and eloquent and dirty. Fantastic. Beautiful, painful piece. Love it. Keep writing! :)
Holly Rose E 2007-01-28 ch 1,	abuseoh snap, this was a work of genius! every line has something utterly brilliant and hard-hitting about it; it's glittery and yet hard and truthful and wow. the last two lines are probably my favorite, except for "i pay eight dollars for concealer,/ninety for this hour, and one of them works/wonders." defintely going on my faves...
Embellished Heart 2007-01-27 ch 1,	abuseWow. Thats all I have to say. Wow.
mostly water 2007-01-23 ch 1,	abuse... What everyone else said? Seconded. This is beautiful.
lackluster 2007-01-20 ch 1,	abuse"i tore your back like a second language/and you curled my fingers into quotations/of the words i wouldn't scream." my mind went fuzzy...this is a favorite, my dear. "let the smoke narrate in lazy russian subtitles". also, a favorite. i might as well quote the whole damn thing. YOU are a favorite.

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