FictionPress.com - let the words flow
| FictionPress.com - let the words flow |
|
| Home Just In Communities Forums Beta Readers Dictionary Search | Login Register Extras |
| Nemonus 2007-01-20 ch 1,  | abuseI don't at all understand what this is about--a crush? a really vague "spiritual" metaphor? frustraion at "sticky" boredom in school?--but the imagery is good and pervasive. I'd like a period at the end. And maybe some elsewhere too, so the whole thing doesn't sound so much like a run-on. |
| Exiled-Knight 2007-01-17 ch 1, | abuse"I like to think of her as my sweetly ever after/in lime green pants." For some reason these two lines gave me a great image and I love them, haha I don't know why though. I like this one too, a different perspective on school then most people write about, but i remember days when school seemed to exist like that. Great job :D |
| Ronnie 2007-01-17 ch 1, anon. | abuseWow, A whole new perspective. I love it. |