FictionPress.com - let the words flow
| FictionPress.com - let the words flow |
|
| Home Just In Communities Forums Beta Readers Dictionary Search | Login Register Extras |
| Choice 2008-08-08 ch 1,  | abuseI loved it. Very poetic and original. (: |
| Erradhadh 2007-02-20 ch 1, anon. | abuseWhat lovely fluff. I don't mean "fluff" in the deragatory, though. I mean this isn't award winning but very comforting. Something that everyone desire, isn't it? |
| invincible summer 2007-01-17 ch 1, | abuseThat was very cute. =] I loved this: "With the absence of sun, the only way to navigate through life is to use artificial light; in the same sense, as I led my own life without you I felt as if my life were fake, artificial; and that only true sunlight could show me my way." The only critique I have is that you made the metaphor of sunshine too obvious. It's already apparent that it's the main theme; you should work on incorporating it more subtly, without just coming out and saying "without sunshine" or 'like real sunshine does this, you do it too'. If that even makes sense. Anyway, good job! =] |