Beautiful, beautiful concept! Very choppy, though, so maybe lengthen each line. But I love the imagery and the sibling love and the family history here.

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This is a very sweet poem. It is one of those poems that you just have to say aw after reading. However, I didn't really get a feel of the rythm... If you meant for it to be like that then good. I know there are some poems that are meant to sound like this, more like a short story than poetry. Anyway, it was very sweet. Keep writing.

sad story beautifully told.

hey poetlover, i love ur poems. it has real feelings. absolutely gorgeous! :)

Beautiful poem. I love it, thank you for writing it.

SummerSmilez

intense, i like it

one thing tho

when you put:

10 years ago

when I was a 5-year old

i was just thinking:

10 years ago

when I was her age

would sound a little better

nice tho!

Deep, it tells a real story.

I love this one! You told the story wonderfully. Keep writing!

Yeeger