 Katterree Fengari 2007-01-18 . chapter 1I really love it; it's got a nice stream of consciousness feel to it. There was a typo in the very first line- you have "clam the door" instead of slam? As it started out it I was a little confused about what you were getting at- how is it automatically a hands vs. door thing... The line "What would they rather her break, she thinks." was a little confusing to me at first as well, maybe if it there were a comma after 'what'? |