|
|
| Home Just In Communities Forums Beta Readers Dictionary Search | Login Register Extras |
| George O' Bradbury 2007-11-20 ch 1, | abusePoor Apollo!...but a great story, nevertheless! |
| your vennela 2007-08-27 ch 1, | abuseIt was not Cassandra who spat in Apollo's mouth, it was the opposite. Apollo asked to sleep with her for the gift of prophecy, she agreed. When it was her turn to stand on her deal, she turned Apollo down. Angry, Apollo came up with a plan. He asked her for just a kiss. Delighted that she had a god 'begging' her for a kiss, she agreed. As she leaned in, Apollo spat in her mouth, cursing her. |
| Rawk-Chick 2007-03-08 ch 1, | abuseInteresting. You should be more descriptive in your writing, though. It stead of just saying, "He said that, and then I said this, and then this happened...bla bla bla," be more descriptive. It makes the story a lot more fun to read and a lot more interesting. :) |
| A.J Evans 2007-01-23 ch 1, | abuseYou seem to like writing these short autobiographical pieces! I actually really enjoyed this, despite its shortness. I think you write better in third person to be honest with you. I would love to see you expand on this. Its been a while since there was a good story on Cassandra. In fact the last one i read that was any good was MArion Zimmer Bradley's version. If you do decide to write a Troy story, let me know. |
| Frosthold 2007-01-21 ch 1, | abusegood idea, I love mythology aswell. However, there were a lot of gramatical errors in your story. Also it was kind of boring. It would be alot more interesting if it was writen from her perspective and a lot more dramatic. For example she doesn't she surprised at all that a GOD appeared in front of her. She should through her self on the ground before him or something. |
| Frore 2007-01-21 ch 1, | abuseI love Greek mythology, and it is always nice to see new takes on it... Your writing is very clear, and never difficult to follow (a good thing!). What I recommend is that you incorporate more details (colors, scents, textures, tastes, etc...) to make your writing come alive. Similes and metaphors can really be fun when you get into them. |