Hey, yeah, this is beachvolleygirl10 from gaia. Sorry I put off reading this so long. I think that so far it's really good. I'll read the rest later.

Aw, this is so sad. I love the way you described it, I could just feel it.

...*sigh*

Poor Simon, he hurts so much...

:) CD

ok this story is really good but with the Heirs and stuff is really confusing! x_? anyway...even tho u made 2 more parts already do u still wanna know weird things ive done? i..uh...hmm...i got my foot stuck in a little kid stool thing...i couldnt get my foot out for like an hour...xD so yea...w.e. good laugh!

"They could all go to a Hell I no longer believed in."--I like that...
Why would a girl that Simon doesn't know and obviously does not want to talk to touch his face? That seems unnatural.
When Simon yells at the girl and boy in the cafeteria, he says, "Stop giving us all false hope..." This a little confusing because it implies that they have done this before even though this is supposed to be their first meeting. Also it makes me wonder: who is "us"?
I'm surprised that Simon doesn't show more emotion (disbelief, anger, surprise...) when the two tell him that Elijah's death may have happened because of something they said. Even if he doesn't believe them, that's not exactly something he'd want to hear.
A little contradiction: he wants to find a patch of grass under a tree to do his homework, and yet everything is covered in snow. This doesn't seem to make much sense.
Whoa. Drama, drama, drama... Poor Simon.

I'm sorry if my comments seem nitpicky, but you could take that as a sort of compliment if you like. Your writing is generally very good, so rather than general umbrella comments, I'm able to address specifics.

Pretty dark.
I don't object to a letter from Elijah, but the contents seem a bit predictable and cliche. For me, it's not so much what you say, but how you say it (to be a little cliche myself). I understand that there are certain things that you want to get across, but you might want to think about re-working the letter to say them in different, more original ways.

Very good beginning--I'm jealous; that's always the hardest part for me. Well-written and dramatic enough without becoming too melodramatic. No complaints except for the sentence, "I clearly remember the day, just like the cliche that it was yesterday." It just doesn't seem to fit.

oh wow
its so long since i read this.
i forgot how freeking awsome it was.
seriously
i luv it
ur awsome
yea

Hi!

Guess who? =D

I'm really enjoying the story thus far. Very interesting set-up, and very well-written.
I'm just finishing my scoring of it right now, and if THAT doesn't give away my super-secret identity then you're crazier than my psycho cat.

Excellent job.

Heh...

Interesting...

:) CD

Wow. That's all I can say.

Oh... my God... I can't believe how that would make me feel, watching my twin commit suicide. Crying~ D: and reading more, naturally.

I really, really like this. ^^ Not much else to say, really, other than please update soon!

I absolutely love this story, Days. My favorite one so far. It's amazing... I was spell-bounded by the first sentence of the prologue and couldn't stop reading until the very end of part four. I look forward to the part five...

This is kinda creepy, and I can't help but think it's a bit too easy... Is this a trap? To get all the Heirs together, get Elijah, and deliver them all into Mr. Bad Guy's hands... eh... Darien Heike's hands?

:) CD