FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| Tahlia Persint 2007-04-22 ch 1,   | I liked it but i think it could use some rhythm. :) |
| Morbane 2007-01-23 ch 1, | At first puzzling over the sweetness of dresses, I was won over as this poem went along. You avoid being sing-song and instead adopt a nice storytelling cadence. Your phrases are very careful and thoughtful. I like best, I think, 'They are laced with laughter, and sorrow, curves that you fought so hard to avoid once.' because it seems to carry several different overtones. Avoiding being fat, maybe, avoiding growing up, avoiding opening one's heart? None is especially stressed: it is delicate. I guess I only disagree with how strongly you present childhood as 'pure' and 'innocent' and 'gentle'. All the time? But this is probably more of a personal opinion than a concrit. |