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| hail.the.bloocheese 2007-08-27 ch 6,  | abuseyay update! good chapter, i like how you have the plot moving along. :) |
| hail.the.bloocheese 2007-08-03 ch 5, | abusegood chapter, full of new infos. keep writing and update soon! |
| hail.the.bloocheese 2007-07-22 ch 4, | abusethis is fantastic! i love your writing style and the plot. keep up the great work! |
| April Hammer 2007-04-06 ch 1, | abuseOh wow I scrolled down and saw that there was a lot of reading. Hehe. Wel - *cracks knuckles* - here goes nothing! I LOVE the name of your main character... Evenere. That's so... well the character is a man, so I don't want to say pretty, but I'm gonna say it anyway! lol. So I see that you said you weren't going to over edit this. That's fine, but in the first paragraph I've noticed a few quirks in the writing (it's a bit choppy... doesn't flow too well) but since this is for NaNoWriMo, there's plenty of time to edit after you hit your wordcount! :D I'm loving the scene at the sea... it's beautiful! I still don't know exactly what's going on, but the name of your character and the metaphors (though you use an awful lot) pulled me in so far. The glorius sea that you've presented in the midst of all of the other description going on about the background information of the universe you're writing in is great! Even though it's not directly describing the sea, in a way it is. Clever! Well there's something neat. Evenere wants to learn how to write. It's little things like this that - as someone once told me in a review - brings to life a universe I wouldn't usually believe in. Well, good job! You really oughtta write more! Even though NaNoWriMo December 06 has passed. You get a golden star! Woohoo! |
| Kicho101 2007-02-06 ch 1, | abuseWow! Amazing detail and great choice of words. Also, nice variaty of sentence structures. Gret Story! |