hm...i didn't enjoy this one much. its a cliched topic and you used simple metaphors to convey the theme. I feel like after this poem theres nothing left over, no mystery that i look for in a poem. People need to think..what is this author trying to tell me..you make it too obvious. But, hope is not lost. I would try again and hold back some information, maybe try making different comparisions etc.. just remember that you want to make people think, not give them the answer right away.

good luck and i hope this has helped

o i like - its seems to me that what ur describing is a flower or leave in the wind but then you know me strange somes it up lol
hugz wilko