This could be an excellent story taken in the right direction, but theres not much to it as of yet. Some background information would be helpful, better descriptions. Other then that I like this story.
hope to see updates.

-caprisun-

oh... a vampire story... okay... i'll summarize the stuff i've thought of...


GOOD: the language and conversations seem "vampirealistic" enough.

BAD: there should be a background thingy on vampires and names, etc... not all people are familiar with it...

i don't quite know where this is going so... maybe you should edit it and repost...