FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| laughing in her sleep 2007-07-14 ch 1,   | oohph. intense. i especially like the last 3 lines |
| dollface and her cancer 2007-04-12 ch 1, | i am coming to the conclusion that you may, in fact, have a kind of mastery with these closing stanzas. they are so calm, and matter-of-fact, but the tone is never at peace, exactly. there is always some edge here. strong, strong, strong. |
| simpleplan13 2007-03-02 ch 1, | I like this... the descriptions in teh beginning were great and that ending was awesome |
| dresdendevotchka 2007-02-09 ch 1, | Love it, just as I love all your other work. I'm especially fond of the title - it just flows. Keep it up! |
| Solemn Coyote 2007-02-06 ch 1, | Okay, I'm reviewing with an agenda, here. I'll make that clear from the outset. You wrote a review a while ago for Burnt Bread's Stop the Press writers' newsletter, and you mentioned therein that you might want to write an article sometime. Well, the current issue (Wit) is desperately short on material. I was wondering if you might write something for it? Okay, so, here's your review: 1) This is not the kind of poem I usually review, but here goes. 2)"alcohol-fuelled and dimly lit" Nice link, there. It's almost like the alcohol is lighting the room. Which, in a way, I guess it is. 3)"requisite removal of clothes," I dunno. 'requisite' is throwing me off a little bit. I mean, yes. That's true. Clothes would get in the way, but the description here feels like it's coming out of a textbook. Maybe you could simplify it ("stripping off clothes") or change tactic and focus on sensory perception ("fabric sliding off skin")? 4) "kissing, praying, screaming..." What would normally be an, um, erotic line is tempered slightly by the addition of 'praying'. That hauls up all kinds of connotations. Nice. 5) The second stanza is kinda dark, but it makes the poem much more complex. This isn't what I usually read, but it's pretty well done. |
| a lonely september 2007-01-29 ch 1, | haha i love this. ♥ it's so real. the beginning, i love the description cos you can feel/see it and it's just lovely. and i love the ending. 'i dont usually do this' god... it really does become a lie, doesnt it? me loves lovely job... |
| Lunar Eclipse1 2007-01-29 ch 1, | too true... heh. Anyways, nicely written. Very concise, yet well done. Great job! |
| luv me like no other 2007-01-28 ch 1, | This is HOTT. |
| Lightning Storm 2007-01-28 ch 1, | Nice. Very nice |