no.peace.los.angeles
2007-01-30
ch 1,   | I like the feel of this poem. I feel like I'm sitting in the library reading with you, and it makes me want to GO sit in a library and read. :) So nice job with that. My only concerns are the use of a form of "reverent" twice, first with "reverent eyes" and then with "a sigh of reverence." I'd be careful using those two words in the same poem, as they're such important words to the poem, and to use them twice takes away from the importance. Also, the last line is redundant, with "still" and "yet" both being used. Pick one and use it. Good job, though. Keep writing! :) |
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