Reviews for Solid Ground - FictionPress.com

Reviews For: Solid Ground

Sexy vampirechick 2008-04-08 ch 2,	abuseSince this one is the most recent one that I haven't reviewed.I guess this one it is! Let's see..hm... "this never ending dizzying merry go round" I think this line has too many adjectives "ending" and "dizzying" both joint together sounds a bit odd,but I do get your point. I simply just love your last stanza.It's so beautifully written.The word choice is absolutely amazing!
a silenced revolution 2008-03-20 ch 2,	abuseI think the edited version is significantly better. The first stanza in particular is better than the original. Nice poem. I especially like the lines "We used to fly away together exchanging the agony of the world for breathtaking views," --cool idea and well expressed.
burning in effigy 2008-02-23 ch 1,	abuseinteresting formatting.. if the last stanza were right justified, then the poem would look like and remind me of a one strand of a dna helix... or rna i think. and i really like how the two lines in the middle make up a little poem of their own, rhyming and working well together :]
heartbroken922 2008-02-21 ch 2,	abusei like the lines and separation from each sentence. its almost like trying to read a merry go round! lol my favorite line is 'we used to fly away' its just really sweet
heartbroken922 2008-02-19 ch 1,	abuseon second stanza, instead of saying 'and this never ending merry go round' i think it would sound better if you changed 'and' to 'on' since you ride on a merry go round. then you would have to change 'is' on the next line to 'it's'. i like the format of the poem. its all scrambled up (if you could get it right justified ) like a merry go round makes you feel. i liked the comparison. great job.
jojoba-music-girl 2008-02-18 ch 2,	abuseThis piece is very original! I really liked the editted version, but also the first version was great. Though it made some difference editting it like that, the point you tried to make hasn't changed, which is the best part. I liked the sentence "but that lovely sensation is now replaced with nausea". Good job! jojoba-music-girl
Moon-Chaser 2008-02-17 ch 2,	abuseI love this, and having it right justified does make it better, too bad that fp won't let you do it! I love the flow of this. Keep it up.
multiples of six 2008-02-16 ch 2,	abuseI like the edited one better. =) It's awesome that you're fixing up old stuff, I never have the patience for that, haha.
Manuel Fajar 2008-02-16 ch 2,	abuseIn spite of all the flights of fancy dreamt I know there's true love somewhere in this world It's just she's dressed in plumage camouflage Impossible to clear discern right now When wandering through woods of obstacles Each one rich world of incessant clamorings From fleeting starlings flying limb to limb For I seek no such chimeras for heart
Gothic Spook 2007-11-16 ch 1,	abuseI like it. Its great how you use a merry go round and compare it to a love life. x
Her Wishing Well 2007-03-03 ch 1,	abuseI like the stanzas where they are- the most emotional lines 'love is more than enough (you swear to me)' 'just let me feel solid ground again (I plead' are centered so really stand out. Pretty powerful and beautifully written.
Anna178 2007-02-04 ch 1,	abuseAlright, so my favorite thing about this poem is how you had (you swear to me) and (I plead)...I dont know, that just really made it for me. I guess it's because I always love description of feelings or manner of people. "but here we are once again" I like the simplicity of that line, the way you dropped it right there starts this poem off well. I dont have any great ideas for you though, sorry. ANNA
lackluster 2007-02-03 ch 1,	abusei don't think fp lets you right-justify. :( anyways, i like the first three stanzas. they're good; the emotion is there, the imagery with the merry-go-round. i feel as if the ending wasn't so great, however. maybe it's just me and i'm expecting a big finish, but it seems very lowly and just...sad. hm...i like the format though, if only fp let you right-justify. i think it would fit perfectly that way. nice work.
Hidden Lies 2007-02-01 ch 1,	abuseI like the way you have set this out, very different I like the last stanza as well "we used to fly away in each others arms...'". Beautiful.

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