That first verse completely hooked me. Awesome song.

konnichi wa

I *really* liked the first stanza -- it was my favorite: "I don't mind standing on the edge / but the thought of falling scares me to death / I don't mind standing in the rain / but my fear of drowning shall always remain."

"But I fear the loneliness I've always known / I've never known which way to go" -- It sounds sort of like it's repeating because you used the same words in both lines. You might want to change the wording of one of them.

A really great poem. :)

Zaijen
-Shan-

Oh, that was a beautiful song! So full of depth. Your words were so meaningful. This'll go in my favorites, it was so beautiful.
The Reverse Edge Blade

Awesomeness...I wish this were a real song...

First Verse Conveyed A Lot Of Emotion & Completely Hooked Me In. & The Bridge... Wow. Quite Beautiful. ^_^

Lots Of Love & Best Wishes
~ xo Secrets

Not bad. I like this. Nice job! Keep it up!