|
|
| Home Just In Communities Forums Beta Readers Dictionary Search | Login Register Extras |
| Osunale 2007-02-12 ch 1, | abuseReally, rather impressive piece. 'Red' is a simple title that really follows through on the impact of the words. "(will all of this such perfect bliss -)" is a little long-sounding/awkward. I don't think that 'such' works very well here - that hardsh '-ch' sound rolling into a soft '-iss' just halts the tones. It's really nice to see such ease of alliteration in image phrases like "a smile and a slide of skin." A lovely piece. |
| she smolders 2007-02-06 ch 1, | abuseThe imagery from this was splendid and bittersweet. |
| VELVETxKISSES 2007-02-03 ch 1, | abuseo kewli! you rock Rebecca! ~*Skye |