excellent. i love the repition of 'ticking.' there are so many poetic elements in here that i'd be sitting here for 20 minutes if i tried to point them all out. my favorites, though, are the instances of consonance. it works so well, especially with the 'ck' sound. very pleasing read, i'm glad you decided to write this one. ps i can so relate. :-P

Oh wow, this happened to me the other night (I didn't fall asleep until five thirty in the morning (and then I woke up a TWENTY MINUTES later). This is so so so so so so so true! Great job and realistic descriptions! (Too realistic...)(haha).