Technical nitpicks: Punctuate this thing fully, you've got some commas in there but it would benefit from the full treatment I believe. Also, keep the capitalisation down to proper nouns and beginnings of sentences. The old tradition of capitalising the first word of each line isn't meshing with your piece.

For langauge, it's a bit simplistic then cliched with "forbidden path". I think you could make this stone metaphor much more interesting with a bit of work. Your last two lines demonstrate that there is something more there that you could work with.

Would stanzas help? I think those last two lines need isolation. To get stanzas on here, after you upload your story, go to quick edit/preview. Backspace all the spaces that Fictionpress creates. Then enter in your stanza breaks. It's a bit tricky but it should work. Otherwise let me know.

I think an edit would really bring some life into this.

.:midnight:.