The way you write is incredibly innovative. I have a feeling that it's influenced by no one's ideas but yours. Your imagery never fails to interest me, the arrangement is sublime, and yet you manage all this without being pretensious.

I love the simplicity of this poem - the image of someone idly stirring fruit into yogurt, and contrasted with the abstractness of the rest of the poem. Interesting. Keep writing! :)

i really like the way this poem is organized.

"I inhaled basement air,
a blank TV screen,"
very cool lines.

i like your technique! nice job!

Hmm. Well...it was simple. It was nonchalant, or until the word "suddenly"; that word seemed to break apart from the rest of the poem. I liked it. It was an enjoyable read. I especially loved the first stanza.

Haha, wow. When I first read the summary for this poem, I expected it to be a very... Almost pretentious piece? Then the word "yogurt" struck me and I realized the casual nature of it, which is not a bad thing. Expressive and descriptive! Keep it up.