FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| Nemonus 2007-06-11 ch 1,  | abuseNot bad. The first stanza has a nice rhythm. In the second I am surprised that the "miracles" of the summary are not what I expected but are expectations people have of the narrator, perhaps very mudane ones ("I cannot fulfill..."), and I'd like at least hints of what they are so the picture is clear. Good, concise words. |
| Red Vision 2007-02-04 ch 1, | abusegreat poem (claps) :) Keep up the work, this was awesome. |
| Kusje 2007-02-04 ch 1, | abuse'They expect miracles where miracles cannot be spun' - Brilliant :D |
| myalteredego 2007-02-04 ch 1, | abuseWow. This is good free-verse, nice formatting. Half of the poem is how you place the words, on what lines and such, and you nailed it. The repetition of certain words like little, ache, and swims are placed just right to give the kind of emphasis this type of poem requires. Nice! |