Reviews for Standing On the Edge

Reviews For: Standing On the Edge - Reviews: Page 1 of 24

Kicon 2008-07-06 ch 10,	abuseHoly mother of crap! You had BETTER update this story soon! Javi's an idiot. He needs to just kiss Rose and Rose needs to kiss him back. Anyway, freaking awesome story!
Lady of Confusion 2008-06-26 ch 10,	abuseUPDATE SOON! I really like your story! I hope you post the next chapter very soon!
kailahboo12 2008-06-24 ch 10,	abuseYour stories are so good. I am an avid reader of almost all of them and this one is in a close running with being my second favorite (1st is When You Own the Universe and 2nd is Quandries of a Quirky Romance). Therefore, I am literally begging you, please, pretty please continue AND complete this story. With complete sincerity, Kailah Young
a beginner 2008-06-02 ch 9,	abusedo u write poetry too?
a beginner 2008-06-02 ch 2,	abusewow, a sequel
Ennui in Heidelberg 2008-06-01 ch 10,	abuseOmg, foursome, that's even braver than writing as a guy! Javi seems like the primary narrator here. Is that what you intended? I think he's more empathetic than Rosaline, at least that's what I find. I'm v attached to him. Please save him from the underwear monkeys! Then again, wouldn't want him to miss out on every man's fantasy right? ;) Keep updating, this story deserves to be told!
Ennui in Heidelberg 2008-06-01 ch 6,	abuseSo brave, writing from a guy's point of view. I find it hard even to have a male ensemble cast! I'm always in agony that I'm making my one male reviewer shake his head in total disbelief. So much power to you! I've noticed something about your dialogue though. Your other story 'when you own the universe', I think it's called, had the same problem. I think when you try to delve into very serious, personal subjects, or go deeper into the characters, it's a bit...repetitive. I think you sometimes emphasise one point too much and reading it feels like going around in circles - like in the case of the whole 'reformation' argument. I think you should be careful of that, because it can get a bit much. Perhaps find subtler ways of conveying these things, or maybe a different route to the crux of the argument. Jade and Javier, nice twist!
Ennui in Heidelberg 2008-06-01 ch 2,	abuseOk, ok, I know I said no more editing but when I see a slash, I've gotta intervene! 'shock/anger' - try a phrase e.g shocked anger, or another word that embodies the two things e.g. appalled. Ok, now definitely, NO MORE EDITING CHEMISTRY. Man, what chemistry... Wow, be proud, got everyone hot under the collar there, I shouldn't wonder!
Ennui in Heidelberg 2008-06-01 ch 1,	abuseHello! Hopefully you don't mind another hanger-on! I've read your stuff before, it's just that I'm a lazy reviewer! But v v v pleased for you that your writing's improved from the last thing you wrote (that I read, I mean!). Progress makes perfect, n'est-ce pas? I like that Rosaline is so volatile. Volatile people make for funny people, I reckon! There are a few mistakes in this chapter, very small though, mainly grammatical and stylistic. I don't know whether you're one of those people who obsessively edit what they've already written (I am), but yeah, if you're interested in fixing up your errors, here are some that I can remember (damn it's hard to edit without a copy!): i) 'changed his ladie's man's WAYS' ii) 'slightly whining' is not a good phrase to use, it's grammatically incorrect. Maybe lose the comma and use an adverb instead e.g. I asked slightly plaintively and turned to look... i) 'beginning to fight back a smile' is a bit clumsy. Maybe switch the operative verb 'fighting' instead of 'beginning'. Or maybe a different phrase altogether e.g. Bree answered, biting back a smile. iv) 'You mean women WHO have no PRIDE IN THEMSELVES/SELF-RESPECT?' 'pride for themselves' is not an expression. v) 'deftly' is used in the wrong context; it usually refers to dexterity in relation to a skill, or work with the fingers e.g. deftly removing a scarf, deftly tying a knot etc. vi) watch your use of punctuation. The semi-colon is a wonderful invention but you've got to learn how to use it first; there were some places it was needed but wasn't used, other times, it was used incorrectly. Commas and de-capitalisation after speech e.g. "No, what...is dance," he declared, grabbing... OR "So you...change me?" he asked... Other times there needs to be a full stop after/between dialogue e.g. 'He quirked an eyebrow and smiled suggestively.(full stop, not comma) "And with her...' Ah...I love editing! Am much better at it than writing anyway! Anyway, I promise no more editing after this chapter, shall only post lovely comments about the wonderfulness of the developing characters (I love that!). But if you want an editor, don't hesitate to contact me, if you like, I'm a brilliant editor because I'm seriously anal! I shall away, and read more!
JusticeWriter 2008-05-24 ch 10,	abuseAw. That sucks. :(
lips.of.an.angel 2008-05-09 ch 10,	abusehey! i had left this story in btw but i got back on it again! and i m glad i did that. i hadn't expected the sudden turn of events now...it's pretty interesting. update soon!
lAll.of.the.abovel 2008-05-02 ch 10,	abuseOh Lordie. I love Javi[Like any other chick] But Gez. If he wants to have a foursome then let him. Yeah. I've come to terms with it.[Since I have absolutely no idea what’s going to happen next] When are you going to update?? Whats taking so long? But I'm in no room to talk. I'm not even that great of a writer and I NEVER update. I get to chapter four in my stories and I...-[unimportant rambling] Anyway, Update plz! xo.
ForeignBelle 2008-04-18 ch 10,	abuseOMG! Why do you constantly have amazing stories and take forever to update! And this one is left on a cliff hanger! I think I may just have to stab you with a pencil...
Incurable Adoration 2008-04-14 ch 10, anon.	abuseI like that Ellen is so quirky. She talks too much, and sometimes at inappropriate moments. Also, she's more intuitive and atune to body language than she lets on. That, I respect about the character. Bree & Javier are obviously really close, which isn't something I'm accustomed to with cousins, but it's believable and definitely necessary-not only for Javier, but for the storyline. You write well, and I'm a fan, but I wonder if sometimes you have a little too much wit in there? A bit of a movie/book/TV/celebrity reference overload?
firestar267 2008-03-26 ch 10,	abusereading through your reviews (because im sad like that) it seems a lot of people are hoping javi wont go through with his foursome or whatever its called lol, and forgive me if im wrong, but i think he will. and you know what? i dont blame him either - hes drunk, horny and alone. sure hell regret it afterwards, or well the consequences of it, but if hed have turned away and walked off i dont think it would have had a better effect than this did, i hope that makes sense. it will be interesting to see rosalines reaction...youve place them in an interesting position havent you? shes just realised hes not a man , and to juxtapose (oh fancy word) that realisation he doubles (unless he actually doesnt go through with it) the amount of girls hes slept with in a night. a superb twist. how will she take it? will she be angry, jealous (even if she doesnt realise it) call off seeing him all together, put the reformation back on? (hey thats interesting...ulterior motive for javi) either way, i hope he spends more time trying to reform her like at the begining, oh i hope he sleeps at her house again and she tells him hes welcome anytime :) aw what if he tells her, after she confronts him about not being a man and he feels really bad about it. speculating here sorry lol. yeah that was a slight tangent wasnt it? lol shes going to be hurt and angry, definatly angry. ive decided. hmm brees reaction i reread this and im sorry i never reviewed it the first time, i think i was in school at the time lol i thought this was brilliant and sleep javis funny lmao bless him :P i had another interesting thought...does rosaline speak spanish? then again i think if she understood javis mum at christmas then she probabally would have asked bree about it basically the only interesting bit of this review for you will probabally be the first paragraph - my reaction to javis reaction and i hope i havent got him wrong, but if i have hes a complicated character anyway i love how youve written every single detail of him i love you! cant wait for more!

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