Prologue 01:

There is term for the style you use here: prose poetry. That's what it's like. I had to read it about three times to get any sense of what it was saying, just because the sheer quantity of imagery kind of overloads the senses. To some people that would probably be considered a criticism, but I think it's a compliment, I like things that require some effort on my part.

This puzzled me: "It begins with the end of all things: **." I was like ohmygod, and then ... there wasn't any ** after all, not even stylised. Unless you're using the term '**' in a more abstract sense, I guess, but I didn't get that impression. I don't know, I'm all confused now.

"The way he falls against the double doors, the thud, the give, that tricks him forward into stumbling and sending his hand to clutch the great, rose-threaded portal wood…" I love this sentence, just so you know.

The problem I have with reviewing this is that, for me personally this is almost exactly the kind of thing I like to read anyway, but if you're looking to get published or anything ... I can't see it getting published as it is, unless you turned it into Magical Realism instead of Fantasy. Then you might be ok.

Basically, the 1st prologue is wonderfully written. Your use of language seems so fluid and calculatingly unrestrained. I like it.

Prologue 02:

I have to admit that initially I didn't like this as much as prologue 1. I think it was partly because I was still enjoying the after-glow of the first, and then it was sort of shattered by the abrupt change in style.

It works, though. The narrative style is very apt for someone named the Practical Man. He's an interesting character too--curious, but dispassionately so, a kind of scientific curiosity.

A few nitpicks:

"flickering note in the tenor of the sobbing: something that could indicate either a pierced lung or a broken heart" I can't imagine it would be very easy to mistake one for the other, really.

"Wizard-killing was one of those jobs in which your quarry very often ended up being much cleverer than yourself, and the Practical Man had made his peace with this long ago. His voice was remarkably steady when he replied" This seems to be something of a contradiction. If he has made his peace with his lesser intelligence then presumably it isn't all that remarkable that his voice should be steady.

"pretty, little sob story" There should not be a comma here, I think. It would read better without one anyway.

I like the name 'shakes' for currency, by the way.

I don't know if you're planning on continuing this story, but so far it is very good, interesting even. And now the words have dried up.

Twisted. Which is always something I love.
I want more.

I'm intrigued by the relationship between Silver and his daughter - or lack thereof - and can't help but speculate about what he's afraid of doing if he has his daughter near. I'm fascinated by the relationship between Dreaming and Lesser, and by the naming scheme that you're using.

This...was, in some vague way, more disturbing to me than anything else you've written. There are places it would never occur to me your writing would wanderdance into, and then it does, and then I'm just thrown a total loop. I can't explain the feeling very well; it's like stumbling into a part of the world you never knew existed.

I don't think that made any sense.

Normally I'm a bit iffy over this kind of relationship between two females (not iffy as in "EUW NASTY!" but iffy as in, "Eh, this isn't my cup of tea, so I'll skip this part". But I found the Lesser/Dreaming (I love how you name your characters; have I ever told you that? Did it sink in? Because I really really do) bit strangely moving. Lesser really does have an awful lot of her father in her, doesn't she? Except a bit more of that girlish empathy thing going gone, maybe.

"Stay beautiful forever" - that struck my heart more than anything I've read in quite a while. Lesser really seems to have expanded since "Our Final Prayer for Dust" - I liked her fine before, but egads, dare I say that this chapter made me like her even more than Silver now? Hmm, maybe!

I had a lot of other stuff to say, but they all rather fly away from me at the moment. Just, with this chapter I got a lot of profoundly new and interesting sensations from your writing.

...EEK ohmygosh. I got a dedication? If I could pepper reviews with dA-esque emoticons, I'd huggleglomp you to death right now! And I, for one, AM excited about the next chapter. Who could these two beautiful young people be, I wonder. Not Silver since he's not young, and not Lesser since she isn't beautiful (at least, those're my thoughts on the matter). And since it isn't either of the two, how would whoever they be connected to our lurvely protags? Hmhmhm. Update soon, c'mon!

Nifty. Absolutely damn nifty. I thought you were a genius before and this only serves to augment this suspicion.

That's all I can say. My brain is still too busy happily digesting this to come up with something constructive and all that like silliness.