 almostthegoldenchild 2007-03-08 . chapter 1you have some strange dreams/ideas. However deep and dark and bloody they are (a little disturbed as well), its brillantly expressed in a short story. My only critisim, is the bit when you jump from his perspective to hers is not clear enough. If you are going to say something about her, why not really go into her surrondings. you can feel amd smell the fear. Its a pity it can't be part of a larger story. |